Wisdom from Elsewhere 2023-11-05

Reading books and playing actual role-playing games in person in relation to a self-awareness of one's own story is the topic of "RPGs and Storytelling Against the Nihilism of the Digital" in Monsters and Manuals. This is a topic worth revisiting.

Where Does Experience Point?

Question: If one chooses to use a form of character advancement wherein all player characters are granted an equal meta-rule improvement (such as experience points, attribute boosts, luck points, etc.) whenever they reach a benchmark (such as completing an adventure, accomplishing a mission, surviving a session, etc.), does it undermine the concept of rewarding player characters for clever play?

Answer: No. The meta-rule award satisfies the player for playing the character. The character's reward arises from the fictional setting itself as a result of the character's interaction with it. The player gets to see the benefits of levelling up, improving a skill, or gaining more ability to improve the odds, but the character gets to see the benefits of in-character choices based on whatever definition of success is important to the character, whether it's accruing wealth, building a reputation, gaining followers, attaining a position, solving a problem, promoting a social movement, exploring the unknown, telling new tales, or any other goal. The character's reward is what the character can perceive, not what only the player can perceive. Therefore, it is perfectly justifiable to allow player characters to improve at an equal rate with regard to meta-rule improvement, whilst basing their in-character advancement on their interactions with non-player characters and circumstances within the setting. Three characters who divide a treasure hoard three ways will be regarded very differently if one is a miser, one is a spendthrift, and one is a philanthropist. This is where experience points.

Luck and the Dice Chain

I think it would be an interesting experiment to alter the Luck rules for Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG as follows: Instead of a Luck point giving the player character a +1 modifier to an action, it grants a +1d. After all, if Luck is Chance (and it is), shouldn't it have a random element itself instead of a direct modifier that subverts the very concept? Besides, the dice chain is one of the best ideas in DCC RPG and it is woefully underused.

I think I'll try it the next time I judge. A report will be forthcoming.

RPGaDay 2023: Day 31

31. FAVOURITE RPG of all time

Everyone's favorite role-playing game of all time is All Time Fave: A Role-Playing Game.

Someone ought to design that...

Or not.

This is certainly one of my least favorite RPGaDay questions...

And this concludes RPGaDay 2023. How did you do?

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 30

30. OBSCURE RPG you've played

I think there ought to be a role-playing game entitled Obscure Role-Playing Game, and I think I am the person who ought to create it. The title is always the most difficult part of the game design process for me, and here it is! It's perfect really. All I need are millions of fans to purchase it ironically.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 29

29. Most memorable ENCOUNTER

This question doesn't interest me, so I'll just focus on the featured word, "encounter," precede it with "random," and follow it with "table."

Random ENCOUNTER Table (RPGaDay 2023 Edition)

Roll 1d6

1. A fully clothed centaur (with briefcase).
2. An enigmatic macroplanarian.
3. A Floating Head of Lettuce (of Doom).
4. A gourdian angel (primarily protects gourds).
5. An octopus piloting a mecha.
6. The Aquabats!

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 28

28. SCARIEST RPG you've played

I can't think of a single role-playing game I have played that was consistently scary, but I can think of plenty of instances in many different games—as a player or as a GM—that were startling and/or eerie. But too much of any one thing in a game becomes a bore. In any role-playing game there ought to be humor as well as drama, action as well as horror (or suspense). What the ratios are depends on the situation, but there's no reason a comedy RPG can't have dramatic stakes, or a dramatic RPG can't have moments of slapstick. Likewise, sometimes the greatest terror happens in fantasy adventure RPGs, and sometimes the horror RPGs inspire resourcefulness and heroism. It's all based on the circumstances. And the players. And the GM.

But the role-playing game that I hope is the scariest in the best possible way is Ghostbusters: A Frightfully Cheerful Roleplaying Game (although Og and Paranoia are contenders).

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 27

27. RPG you'd like a new EDITION of

I think I would like to see a new edition of Men in Black adapted to The D6 System 2nd edition. (I would like to see a lot of things adapted to The D6 System 2nd edition.)

I would also very much like to see a new edition of the Science Fiction Companion for Savage Worlds (SWADE) as soon as possible. (It ought to have been the first companion to get a new edition after the publication of SWADE, in my opinion.)

Some new editions that are in progress (and that I am eager to acquire and play) are Scales and Tales 2nd edition and Knave 2nd edition. I am usually disappointed by newer editions of role-playing games, but I am feeling optimistic about these two.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 26

26. Favourite CHARACTER SHEET

Honestly, my favorite character sheet nowadays is the humble note card. I don't like clutter; I don't like small fonts; I don't like small spaces in which to record my information; and I don't like background images—all of which rules out most character sheets. Just give me note cards. It's one of the oldest methods of recording character information and it's still the most efficient.

One caveat, though: If you are the GM, make an example note card of primary character information for the sake of consistency. It's especially important for new players who may need help locating information. If the information is located in the same place for every player, they can help each other more quickly.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 25

25. UNPLAYED RPG you own

I have many unplayed role-playing games. (I might be a collector.) One of the many unplayed role-playing games in my collection I would like to play is Scales & Tales by Kevin Sherry. Available here, a new edition is expected to be released in early 2024. See the scalesandtalesrpg Instagram account for a wealth of Scales & Tales art.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 24

24. COMPLEX/SIMPLE RPG you play

The most complex role-playing game I am willing to play would be Savage Worlds or one of the classic Basic Role-Playing games from Chaosium (e.g., Stormbringer, Ringworld, etc.). Anything more complex is counterproductive to the kind of role-playing I enjoy. Life is too short for unnecessary complexity in gaming.

The simplest role-playing game I am willing to play would be almost anything as long as there is a random element and everyone gets to roll (or use whatever randomizer is used instead of dice). I want no part of "only the players roll" or "only the referee rolls." Both extremes are boring.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 23

23. COOLEST looking RPG product/book

So, I'm supposed to visualize every role-playing game product/book I've seen in my life and declare one of them as the "coolest looking"? I haven't the time to concern myself with evaluating every role-playing item I have ever seen. Instead, I'll reframe the question as the "coolest looking RPG product/book that doesn't exist, but should" and declare it to be The Blues Brothers, a D6 role-playing game that only exists in my imagination (with forwards by Dan Aykroyd and Cab Calloway). It would look so cool that just holding it would cause a mild explosion, and when the smoke cleared you would be dressed in the style of Jake and Elwood.

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[Second photo by Sooz.]

RPGaDay 2023: Day 22

22. Best SECONDHAND RPG purchase

The best secondhand role-playing game purchase I have ever made was a copy of the boxed set of Ghostbusters: A Frightfully Cheerful Roleplaying Game, complete, unpunched, and containing a Ghost Die in perfect condition. It was a miracle I found a copy, and it was reasonably priced. I had been kicking myself for not buying a copy when it was available in stores (I think because I was worried it was based more on the cartoon than the movie), and to find a complete, undamaged, affordable copy of the game after all these years was lucky indeed.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 21

21. Favourite LICENSED RPG

It depends...

• Favorite Robert E. Howard RPG: Conan Role-Playing Game (TSR)
• Favorite Fritz Leiber RPG: DCC RPG Lankhmar (Goodman Games)
• Favorite H.P. Lovecraft RPG: Call of Cthulhu (Chaosium)
• Favorite Michael Moorcock RPG: Stormbringer (Chaosium)
• Favorite Larry Niven RPG: Ringworld (Chaosium)
• Favorite DC RPG: DC Universe (West End Games)
• Favorite Doctor Who RPG: The Doctor Who Role Playing Game (FASA)
• Favorite Flash Gordon RPG: Savage Worlds The Savage World of Flash Gordon (Pinnacle Entertainment)
• Favorite Ghostbusters RPG: Ghostbusters: A Frightfully Cheerful Roleplaying Game (West End Games)
• Favorite Judge Dredd RPG: Judge Dredd – The Role-Playing Game (Games Workshop)
• Favorite Marvel RPG: Marvel Super Heroes (TSR)
• Favorite Star Trek RPG: Star Trek: The Role Playing Game (FASA); Star Trek Role-Playing Game (Last Unicorn Games)
• Favorite Star Wars RPG: Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game (West End Games)

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 20

20. Will still play in TWENTY years time

I would hope that I will still be playing all of my favorite role-playing games in twenty years time if I live that long. I'd rather not think about it. Let's concentrate on what we're playing now and what we'll be playing next, regardless of the interval of time.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 19

19. Favourite PUBLISHED adventure

This question makes me tired. There are too many adventures for too many different role-playing games for me to have an answer. Plus there's the distinction between favorite published adventure played versus favorite published adventure GMed. I have neither the time nor energy to ponder the matter. And as I have mentioned before, my mode of thinking tends not to be hierarchical. I fail to see the point of it.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 18

18. Favourite RPG SYSTEM

Some of my favorite role-playing game systems include:

• Basic Role-Playing
• The D6 System (especially 2nd edition)
• Fudge

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 17

17. FUNNIEST RPG you've played read

Instead of "funniest role-playing game you've played," I'll name the funniest concept for a role-playing game I've encountered. It's a tie between Creeks & Crawdads, the game of playing inept crustaceans in a post-apocalyptic future, and Og (including Land of Og and Og: Unearthed), the game of playing prehistoric people with an extremely limited vocabulary. I don't know how funny they are in action, but they're hilarious on paper.

N.B. This may overlap Day 7.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 16

16. RPG you WISH you owned

I shall interpret the "role-playing game you wish you owned" as one that has never been published, because otherwise I would merely be sharing my wish list of mostly out-of-print titles, and no one cares to see that.

The nonexistent role-playing game I wish I owned (because a friend of mine would dearly love to play it) would be an adaptation of Tron. I would want it to be streamlined, fast, and awe-inspiring in play. I would want special Tron dice and Tron dice trays and a landscape Tron GM screen and a rule book that looks gorgeous in both print and PDF. And I want interactive player character sheets with graphics and sound effects that the GM can alter remotely during the game.

It sounds crazy and it will never happen (and if it did it wouldn't be nearly as good as I'm envisioning it), but that would be my wish. Short of that, I'll just have to homebrew my own version.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 15

15. Favourite Con MODULE/ONE-SHOT

• The time: The summer of 1980-something.
• The place: Fal Con, a gaming convention at Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio, U.S.A.
• The situation: My friends and I signed up for a science fiction role-playing game adventure.

I no longer recall the name of the GM nor the title of the adventure, but I remember the following:

• When pregenerated characters were offered, I went last, and I was left with the party's highest ranking officer, Captain Donald Drake.
• Amongst my character's possessions was a "spring rifle," which the GM explained to me was inspired by a weapon from Gordon R. Dickson's series of Dorsai novels. (I subsequently read and very much enjoyed those novels.)
• The planets were named after the Greek equivalents of our own, e.g., Mercury was Hermes, Venus was Aphrodite, Mars was Ares, etc.
• Some of the miniatures the GM used were Star Wars toys, including a walking tank that Drake blew up Skywalker-style.
• The GM used a screen from the The Adventures of Indiana Jones role-playing game.
• The GM was a member of the Northern Ohio Wargaming Society and the founder of another club. He handed out pamphlets, the result of which was that we later attended NOWS Con.

I say it was my favorite convention module/one-shot because it was the only occasion my friends and I all played together as players without one of us having to be the GM. It was great fun, and I wish it had been one of many such experiences.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 14

14. Favourite CONVENTION purchase

This one is easy. My favorite and most memorable convention purchases were the items I bought at the first Gen Con I attended when it was held at the University of Wisconsin—Parkside in the early 1980s: Stormbringer, Call of Cthulhu, and the two volumes of Best of The Dragon/Best of Dragon. This was the beginning of my devotion to the Basic Role-Playing series of games by Chaosium.

I can remember how I felt as I sat in our tent at a nearby campground, marvelling at my first convention acquisitions. The first remain the best, and I cherish them.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 13

13. Most memorable character DEMISE

The winner of "Most Memorable Character Demise" goes to one of my wife's 0 level characters in Sanctum of the Snail, a Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG adventure included in the first issue of Crepuscular (obtainable here). I can't reveal the cause of death, as it would be a spoiler (and that's the problem with this question), but I can say that her character had two options. Upon taking the correct option, which yielded something beneficial, she then decided to take the second option also (over the objections of her fellow player) and paid the fatal consequence. Those who have played or run the adventure might know the situation to which I am referring, and can well imagine the facial expressions of onlookers. I wish I could say more. Rest in Peace, 0 level daredevil who knew no fear and took every risk that confronted her. If we ever find her character sheet, I'll post it here.*

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[Edit: I previously stated that the name of the adventure was Sailors on the Starless Sea, but I had misremembered.]

* I found her character sheet and realized I can't post it due to spoilers, but I can share her non-spoilery character generation info.

Name: Zip
0 level Rutabega Farmer (she/her)
Strength: 14 (+1)
Agility: 16 (+2)
Stamina: 4 (-2)
Personality: 13 (+1)
Intelligence: 15 (+1)
Luck: 14 (+1)
Armor Class: 12
Hit Points: 1
Lucky Sign: Bountiful Harvest (+1 hit points per level)
Weapon: pitchfork
Equipment: hen, holy symbol
Starting Funds: 42 copper pieces

RPGaDay 2023: Day 12

12. Old RPG you STILL play

I am more interested in the inverse of this question. An old role-playing game I do not still play is Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, the RPG I've spent more hours playing than any other game. I no longer have the patience for AD&D's morass of unnecessary rules. It has its uses as a resource, but not as a game I have any interest in playing again.

That isn't to say I won't run an AD&D adventure, but if I do, I'll adapt it for Basic/Expert D&D, Swords & Wizardry White Box, Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG, Knave, or Maze Rats.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 11

11. WEIRDEST RPG you've played read

The weirdest role-playing game I have encountered would probably be The Original Flatland Role Playing Game by Marcus L. Rowland, based on Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions by Edwin A. Abbott. It is available here via DriveThruRPG. The "free 'lite' version" known as The Original Flatland Role Playing Game (The Flattened Remix) can be obtained here (likewise via DriveThruRPG).

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 10

10. Favourite tie-in FICTION

There was a time when I had the perfect answer to this question—a perfect example of fiction linked to a role-playing game. Barring the example I had in mind, the closest I can get to an answer would be the early BattleTech novels, which narrowly qualify only because of the related MechWarrior role-playing game. (I was in the process of reading them all until the Clan Invasion broke out and I consequently lost interest. Frankly, that stunt ruined the game for me.) In general, though, role-playing games rarely, if ever, inspire good tie-in fiction. I would be pleased to learn otherwise, but I am skeptical.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 09

9. Favourite DICE

I am not inclined to write a treatise on my favorite dice, so I'll just list some of them:

• Fudge dice (six-sided dice marked +, +, 0, 0, -, -)
• binary dice (six-sided dice marked 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0)
• d12 (twelve-sided die marked 1-12)
• d7 (crazy die marked 1-7)
• d3 (specifically, the six-sided die marked I, I, II, II, III, III)
• d6 in translucent red (casino or otherwise)
• black dice with white and/or red numerals in general
• glow-in-the-dark dice in general

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 08

8. Favourite CHARACTER

As I mentioned before, I do not think in hierarchical terms. Instead of designating a character as my favorite, I'll choose the first of my characters that springs to mind.

The character is Victor M. Valiant, director of silent films and founder of Valiant Pictures. I created him for a nighttime Call of Cthulhu adventure my friends and I played at a campground in Mukwonago, Wisconsin c. 1990. We were attending Gen Con (then located in Milwaukee), and camping was more affordable than any hotel. David was the Keeper (having read the adventure on our way from Ohio to Wisconsin). Tim's character was a jazz musician from New Orleans, and Andrew's character was a doctor. It was tremendously fun, and I regret we never had the chance to continue their adventures.

Here are the character's details:

Name: Victor M. Valiant
Age: 50
Occupation: Film Director [and founder of Valiant Pictures]
Nationality: American
Residence: U.S.A.
STR 12
CON 11
SIZ 12
DEX 10
APP 15
SAN 96
INT 17 (Idea 85)
POW 10 (Luck 50)
EDU 19 (Knowledge 95)
Magic Points: 10
Hit Points: 12
Cash on Hand: $149.70
Noteworthy Skills
Bargain 40
Chemistry 84
Cthulhu Mythos 3
Credit Rating 20
Dodge 50
Drive Automobile 30
Electrical Repair 30
Hide 25
History 34
Library Use 31
Oratory 11
Photography 94
Read/Write French 61
Ride 16
Sneak 37
Speak French 15
Spot Hidden 41
Swim 40
Track 30
Pump Shotgun 60

An Incomplete Filmography

• Nefarious Dreams
  
• Juju Dreams
  
• The Scoundrel of Baghdad
  
• The Bureaucrat
  
• Steamer to Shanghai
  
• The Black Widow
  
• Fig. 13
  
• The Engines of Peace
  

The names of the films were jotted on the back of my player character sheet as Andrew and I ad-libbed about some of my character's past filmmaking exploits. The conversational improvisation between player characters was one of my favorite aspects of that session.

And here is the original character sheet:

[Click image to enlarge.]

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 07

7. SMARTEST RPG you've played read

"Smart" has many definitions. For the purpose of answering this question, I choose the version of "smart" defined as "witty" or "clever." So, with that in mind, what is the wittiest role-playing game (in my opinion)?

Instead of mentioning commercially published role-playing games that most gamers already know about, I'll list the three SMARTEST independent RPGs that are free and currently available:

• The Drones ("A light-hearted after-dinnerish roleplay game" inspired by the works of P.G. Wodehouse) by Ian Crowther, Sheila Thomas, and Victoria Uren
• The Skool Rools ("Also nowen as KLASSROOMS & MATRONS, the roll-playing game of British educashun") by Phil Masters
• Star Wreck (based primarily on the Finnish movie, Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning) by Mike Pohjola

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 06

6. Favourite RPG you NEVER get to play

Asking me to name my favorite role-playing game I never get to play is like asking me to name my favorite role-playing game, which is no easy task. You might as well ask me to name my favorite book or poem or movie. I do not think in hierarchical terms. I like many role-playing games and I never get to play as many as I'd like. So, my answer will be a role-playing game I never finished designing (although someday I may): Cargoes & Castaways.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 05

5. OLDEST RPG you've played

The oldest role-playing game I've played is Mazes & Minotaurs. No, that's not true (although I wish it were). The oldest RPG I've played is, of course, Dungeons & Dragons, the first commercially published RPG in the world. Everyone reading this knows what D&D is, but I think fewer readers know about Mazes & Minotaurs.

Mazes & Minotaurs, by Olivier Legrand, answers the question: What if the first role-playing game had been inspired by Ray Harryhausen's Jason and the Argonauts and Homer's Odyssey rather than fantasy fiction? Based loosely on the rules of the third edition of D&D, it is a brilliant interpretation of a further fictionalized mythical ancient world, and it's free.

Both versions of Mazes & Minotaurs (the 1972 Original Rules and the 1987 Revised Rules) are available as PDFs and are far superior to most role-playing games on the market. And again, they are free.

[For more information on #RPGaDay (or #RPGaDay2023 specifically), read this.]

RPGaDay 2023: Day 04

4. Most RECENT RPG bought

The most recent RPG I bought this year was Tim Snider's Fie, I Say!, "The D6 Comedy-Fantasy-Parody Roleplaying Game" inspired by Ghostbusters: A Frightfully Cheerful Roleplaying Game. I'll write more about it later in Decidedly Six-Sided.

Fie, I Say! is available in two different formats (PDF and black & white softcover book) here from DriveThruRPG.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 03

3. First RPG BOUGHT (this year)

The first print role-playing game I bought this year was Richard Woolcock's Tricube Tales, a rules light system using one to three six-sided dice. I'll write more about it later in Decidedly Six-Sided.

Tricube Tales is available in three different formats (phone PDF, standard color softcover book, and black & white softcover book) here from DriveThruRPG.

[For more information on #RPGaDay (or #RPGaDay2023 specifically), read this.]

RPGaDay 2023: Day 02

2. First RPG GAMEMASTER

I have already answered this in response to similar #RPGaDay questions over the years (see the first entry for RPGaDay 2019), but I'll repeat it: my first Dungeon Master was my friend David who introduced me to Dungeons & Dragons.

We were in third grade when we met and he proudly announced, "I play D&D with my brother." My blank and uninterested expression led him to follow with an explanation: "It means Dungeons & Dragons." To which I replied, "So?" I can't recall the rest of the conversation, but the subject died until we were in fifth grade and I was excited about an advertisement for a computer game called Deathmaze 5000 I had seen in an issue of 80 Microcomputing. To paraphrase what I told my friends David and Andrew on the playground, "What if there were a game like Deathmaze 5000, but instead of using the computer, which has a limited number of responses to a limited number of commands, you could try to do anything you can imagine and there would be endless possibilities! I wish it existed!" To which David responded, "That's what D&D is." Thusly did the lightning bolt strike me, and a short time later I played my first role-playing session with David as the DM.

It seems like a silly little anecdote, but it was the beginning of a lifelong hobby and it forged a bond of social activity and creative endeavor amongst my friends and me. Role-playing games were, and continue to be, a shared language amongst many of my closest and oldest friends. Thank you, David, for that first adventure.

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RPGaDay 2023: Day 01

1. FIRST RPG played (this year)

The first (and only) role-playing game I have played this year is Mutant Crawl Classics RPG. I've been lax in my active gaming this year, and I only have the Lords of Chaos to blame. MCC RPG is a fine game, but there are so many more I wish to run and play. The year is not over, however, and I may yet find Tanelorn.

[For more information on #RPGaDay (or #RPGaDay2023 specifically), read this.]

Preparing for the 10th RPGaDay

RPGaDay2023 is nigh, and this time I shall be posting my daily responses throughout August on Facebook instead of Twitter. As usual, I shall compile them in a single article here in early September. Are you participating, and if so, where?

[Correction: I'll avoid subjecting my non-gaming friends on Facebook to my #RPGaDay answers and subject the readers of this blog to them instead. Daily. Sorry, readers of this blog (if there are any).]

[Click image to enlarge.]

Phage from Below Crowdfunding in Progress

The Kickstarter project for Phage from Below, Tim Snider's 2nd level adventure for Mutant Crawl Classics RPG, is currently in progress at the low price of $5.00 for the PDF and the option to purchase an at-cost, print-on-demand copy. Add-ons include the 1st level adventure The Desk in Room 8-10 and the 0 level funnel Dead in the Water at $5.00 each for the PDF and the same hard copy option. The deadline to back the project is 15 July 2023.

To State or Not to State the Armor Class

I feel as if I might have addressed this topic online before, perhaps on Google+, but since I can find no record of it (and Google+ is dead), I am returning to it here. As a referee of whatever edition or reinterpretation of D&D you prefer, do you declare the armor class of the monsters (or non-player characters) that the player characters face, or do you let the players figure it out for themselves and just tell them when their rolls miss or hit?

My method is this: When the player characters first encounter a foe, I describe the foe. The players can assess the level of threat posed by the foe based on what they know from previous experience, research, rumor, and observation, but until they actually attack that foe they can only estimate what the armor class might be. Once they declare an attack, I tell them the armor class. Because why wouldn't I?

I'm sure there are those who argue that stating the armor class subverts immersion, but to them I say forcing the players to keep track of their rolls each round to calculate the enemy's armor class subverts immersion more. If you are that concerned about the danger to immersion caused by stating the armor class, why don't you remove the danger entirely by simply making the players' attack rolls for them and letting them know whether they hit? It is not unknown for some referees to use this technique. They say it's all in the service of immersion. I think it deprives players of some of the thrill of playing the game. When the referee rolls for the players and never rolls in the open, how is anyone to know that any roll is ever fair, and how is anyone able to gauge what the odds are of doing anything? Anything or everything could be the result of DM/GM fiat, and at that point are you even playing a game or are you just taking a virtual tour?

I like my players to have an idea of the risk involved. It adds tension. It adds drama. It increases the psychological reward. It lets them know that they are playing the game as active participants and are not merely pawns of the referee. It doesn't "break" the game to let the players know an opponent's armor class. If anything, it lends the players a bit of confidence that the referee is fair, and that's a good thing.

The Flavors of D&D I Prefer

No one asked, but these are currently my favorite editions and variations of That Game in alphabetical order.

• Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set & Expert Set (Erol Otus cover art) a.k.a. B/X D&D
• Dungeons & Dragons Original a.k.a. OD&D
• Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG a.k.a. DCC RPG
• Knave
• Macchiato Monsters
• Swords & Wizardry White Box

Honorable Mention goes to the first edition of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (a.k.a. AD&D 1e) for the additional spells, magic items, monsters, and modules.

When You Cannot Miss

The more I game the more I appreciate minimalist role-playing games. Simpler rule systems can be learned and taught quickly, are easily internalized, and free us to concentrate on what many of us enjoy most: creative problem-solving and playing roles. Much of this is achieved by reducing certain concepts to abstractions. For example, encumbrance becomes slot management; wealth becomes an attribute; attacks always hit.

Attacks always hit? Yes, in certain minimalist role-playing games and their derivatives, all attacks are successful and one needs only to roll damage (if the damage isn't already a static value). The intention, I believe, is to make combat quicker (a laudable goal if one has played certain ponderous combat systems) and more lethal (to encourage the pursuit of trickery, retreat, or diplomacy). I'm always in favor of quicker combat resolution in a role-playing (as opposed to war-gaming) context, and non-combat options ought to be uppermost in mind for many reasons, but "attacks never miss"? For me, that immediately breaks immersion—in what universe does no one ever miss?—and makes combat less interesting. I see combat as another form of problem-solving (or, in many cases, problem-causing) where creativity ought to be rewarded. I won't bother to extrapolate on the type of society that would exist where anyone can always attack anyone else with unnerring accuracy and no one possesses the instinct or ability to dodge (other than to say it would resemble nothing in reality or fiction), but I would suggest that perhaps a better way to discourage combat (if that is the aim) would be to make it more grounded in reality. Increase the damage potential. Increase the recovery time. Increase the difficulty or reduce the efficacy of medical treatment. Add lingering health problems from injuries. Make attacks more challenging to avoid, but don't make them impossible to avoid. All of these are logical ways to make players think harder about whether to fight without breaking the willing suspension of disbelief.

Any game is anyone's game, but I prefer rules that elicit the response, "That makes sense."

Knave Second Edition Crowdfunding in Progress

The Kickstarter project for the second edition of Ben Milton's retro-D&D-compatible role-playing game, Knave, has had an explosively big start and it's easy to see why. I'm backing it. Are you?

Your Dungeon Tour Table: Epilogue

This year's Random Generator Month was the most productive since I started the tradition. Your Dungeon Tour Table ended as a 1d30 table, and I think part of the reason is that this was the first Random Generator Month in which I was guided by a procedure: creating an integrated random dungeon generator inspired by that found in the 1st edition AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide Appendix A. If you start with the Occasional Checks table, it actually leads you to the tables you need as you map an original dungeon. It was a fun exercise, and I plan to put it to the test very soon, so stay tuned. In the meantime, feel free to give it a try and share your observations in the comments.

Table: Dungeon Rationale (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Depending on your point of view, the rationale behind the existence of this dungeon may be the most important factor of dungeon design or the least important. At any rate, it's the final table of this dungeoneering tour. Or you could make it the first.

This is the thirtieth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Dungeon Rationale

Roll 1d30

1. It is a standard dungeon haunted by those who perished in it.
2. It is a standard dungeon currently operating as such. What are you doing here?
3. It is an abandoned dungeon infested with monsters who burrowed from below.
4. It is an abandoned dungeon occupied by monstrous invaders.
5. It is the product of a mad wizard's mind.
6. It is a network of tunnels belonging to a secret cult that delved too deep.
7. It is an abandoned mine that accidentally struck the subterranean domain of something inimical to surface dwellers.
8. It is the practical joke of a godling.
9. It is a gigantic spacecraft that crashlanded.
10. It is an amusement park of the ancients.
11. It is a network of tunnels being used by several criminal factions.
12. It is a shopping mall of the ancients.
13. It is a former menagerie of diverse monsters who now roam freely.
14. It is a natural history museum of the ancients.
15. It is an obstacle course for assassins.
16. It is an isolated utopian/dystopian complex built to survive an apocalypse.
17. It is a subterranean shrine to evil gods.
18. It is a metaphor for our relationship with Death. (Metaphysics optional.)
19. It is a market connecting traders of the underearth to nocturnal traders of the surface.
20. It is an illusory environment created by the minds of bulging-headed aliens.
21. It is a nightmare dimension constructed by shadow demons.
22. It is the virtual world of a fantasy video game.
23. It is a playset for juvenile gods or juvenile godlike aliens.
24. It is an underground city forgotten by the city above it.
25. It is a weird manufactory staffed by elves, dwarves, or cyclopes.
26. It is the ancient labyrinth of a lost civilization.
27. It is a viable subterrestrial ecosystem.
28. It is a twisted behavioral science experiment conducted by powerful beings.
29. It is a game show with fabulous prizes!
30. It is an incomprehensible game played by the gods.

N.B. The result of this table may or may not conflict with the result of the Dungeon Ambience table, in which case you may choose one to override the other, roll again, or mash them together.

Table: Dungeon Ambience (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What would you say is the overall atmosphere of this dungeon?

This is the twenty-ninth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Dungeon Ambience

Roll 1d20

1. Ancient Cretan
2. Ancient Egyptian
3. Castle Wolfenstein
4. Catacombs Romanesque
5. Diablo
6. Ermagerd Trmb erv Herrers
7. Fifties Bomb Shelter
8. Golden Axe
9. Hammer Horror
10. Haute Fantasy
11. Hilarious House of Frightenstein
12. Krull
13. McDungeonland
14. Medieval European
15. Nineteenth Century Funhouse
16. Phantom of the Sewer Beneath the Opera
17. Renaissance
18. Renaissance Faire
19. Tim Burton's Spooky Something-or-Other
20. Universal Horror

Table: Passage Tricks (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Trick or retreat!

This is the twenty-eighth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Passage Tricks

Roll 1d12

Ah! The old...

1. Appear-to-disappear-but-actually-get-teleported-elsewhere trick!
2. Appear-to-disappear-but-actually-get-disintegrated trick!
3. Appear-to disappear-but-actually-get-phased-into-the-Ethereal-Plane trick!
4. Passage-floor-that-tilts-into-a-chute-leading-down-one-level trick!
5. Trapdoor-covering-a-pit-filled-with-hungry-crocodiles trick!
6. Trapdoor-covering-a-pit-filled-with-water-and-a-giant-octopus-puppet trick!
7. Swinging-pendulum-scythes-blocking-the-way-ahead trick!
8. Illusionary-floor-concealing-a-transdimensional-wormhole trick!
9. Illusionary-floor-concealing-a-chute-leading-down-one-or-more-levels trick!
10. Sliding-wall-that-blocks-any-retreat trick!
11. Sliding-walls-that-block-any-advance-or-retreat trick!
12. Sliding-walls-that-shift-back-and-forth-creating-an-atmosphere-of-unease trick!

#GetSmart

Table: Passage Traps (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Oh, it's a trap alright.

This is the twenty-seventh table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Passage Traps

Roll 1d12

Ah! The old...

1. Trapdoor-covering-a-pit-filled-with-spikes trap!
2. Trapdoor-covering-a-pit-filled-with-snakes trap!
3. Trapdoor-covering-a-pit-filled-with-acid trap!
4. Trapdoor-covering-a-pit-filled-with-ping-pong-balls trap!
5. Poison-darts-that-shoot-out-of-the-walls-when-you-step-on-the-wrong-tile trap!
6. Spikes-that-pop-out-of-the-walls-as-they-start-closing-in-on-you trap!
7. Cage-that-falls-on-you-when-you-take-something trap!
8. Giant-boulder-that-crushes-you-when-you-take-something trap!
9. Snare-that-suspends-you-upside-down-and-releases-a-swarm-of-flying-piranhas trap!
10. Flypaper-covering-the-entire-floor trap!
11. Corridor-filled-with-zombies-pretending-to-be-normal-corpses trap!
12. Corridor-lined-with-living-statues trap!

#GetSmart

Table: Chambers (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What nature of chamber is this?

This is the twenty-sixth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Chambers

Roll 1d12

1. Typical everyday subterranean chamber. (See room.)
2. Torture chamber. (95% chance of TORTURE!)
3. Teleportation chamber. (30% chance of controlling the destination.)
4. Study chamber. (75% chance of useful information.)
5. Not your typical everyday subterranean chamber. (See room, but add a twist.)
6. Just another word for room.
7. Echo chamber. (100% chance of echoes if a sound is made.)
8. Chamber of horrors. (60% chance the horror is real.)
9. Chamber music chamber. (50% chance of music.)
10. Bedchamber. (25% chance of 1d8 sleepers.)
11. Anti-antechamber. (10% chance of 1d4 aunties; 0% chance of other exits.)
12. Actual antechamber to another room or chamber.

Table: Means of Ascent or Descent (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

First Level: Oubliettes, thumbscrews, and skewers, racks, clamps, pillories, and peine forte et dure. Going down...

This is the twenty-fifth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Means of Ascent or Descent

Roll 1d24 (or roll 1d12 for descent only, or 1d12+12 for ascent only)

1. Standard staircase going down.
2. Treacherous staircase going down.
3. Trick staircase going down.
4. Spiral staircase going down.
5. Escalator going down.
6. Ramp going down.
7. Pit with ladder going down.
8. Pit with platform, rope, and pulley going down.
9. Standard pit going down.
10. Spiral slide going down.
11. Roller slide going down.
12. Dumbwaiter.
13. Elevator (Lift)
14. Roller slide going up.
15. Spiral slide going up.
16. Standard chimney going up.
17. Chimney with platform, rope, and pulley going up.
18. Chimney with ladder going up.
19. Ramp going up.
20. Escalator going up.
21. Spiral staircase going up.
22. Trick staircase going up.
23. Treacherous staircase going up.
24. Standard staircase going up.

N.B. Roll 1d3 for number of levels up or down or choose freely.

#AreYouBeingServed

Table: Wandering Monsters (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Wandering about, you encounter one or more wandering monsters... wandering... about...

This is the twenty-fourth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Wandering Monsters

Roll 1d20

1. A bunch of bogglebears (3d8).
2. A cantaloupapapas.
3. A carrion cruller.
4. A coterie of hobnoblins (4d6).
5. A dungeon-delving chicken.
6. A fearsome ogreat.
7. A flock of lava-loving infernal ducks (2d30).
8. A gathering of grablins (10d10).
9. A group of glowbolds (5d100).
10. A hiyahidra.
11. A horrendous ughyuck.
12. A horrible neo-ughyuck.
13. A Munchkin Liberation Army task force (14 operatives).
14. A number of nulls (3d12).
15. A platoon of porcs (20).
16. A terrible steam-blowing bragon.
17. A troper.
18. A wiant. (Like a giant, but with an emphasis on width.)
19. Roll on this table of wandering monsters.
20. Roll on this other table of wandering monsters.

Table: Room Monsters (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Monster(s) in this room...

This is the twenty-third table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Room Monsters

Roll 1d20

1. annoying youths
2. bored monster
3. brooding monster
4. gambling monsters
5. housekeeping monster
6. hungry monster frustrated with current diet
7. inebriated monster trying to forget past mistakes
8. jealous monster
9. partying monsters
10. pet monster
11. petty squabbling monsters
12. preoccupied bookkeeping monster
13. ragtag band of lost sidekicks
14. slumbering monster
15. sneaky monsters lying in ambush
16. snobbish adventuring party
17. somnambulant monster
18. standard monsters
19. unreasonably wrathful monster
20. vain monster

N.B. Use any desired monster type or roll as a wandering monster.

Table: Treasure Hidden (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Can you find the alleged treasure?

This is the twenty-second table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Treasure Hidden

Roll 1d8

The treasure is hidden...

1. Behind a secret panel in the wall cunningly disguised as a framed painting.
2. Beneath a cleverly placed rug.
3. In a ceiling space with a concealed trap door, the opening of which triggers the release of confetti and balloons.
4. In a mini-pocket dimension accessible only by the vibrations of a certain pitch.
5. In one of a hundred boxes, all of which are shrinkwrapped.
6. Inside a harpsichord, grandfather clock, or police call box.
7. Under a loose floorboard, wobbly stone, or crooked brick.
8. Within a dust-filled secret alcove accessible only by reciting the magic words or by accidentally tripping an ancient mechanism that still works perfectly because they had standards back in the day.

Table: Treasure Traps (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Find the treasure, face the trap.

This is the twenty-first table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Treasure Traps

Roll 1d8

The treasure is...

1. Coated with contact poison.
2. Covered with asphyxiation dust—easily confused with pixie dust.
3. Encased in a glass container filled with die-laughing gas.
4. Guarded by a stand-up comedian/demon.
5. Immersed in a perfume that is irresistible to the undead.
6. Protected by venomous springing snakes.
7. Submerged in lime-flavored ectoplasm.
8. Surrounded by scattered LEGO bricks and an anti-footwear force field.

Table: Room Traps (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

You have a vague sense that there's a trap in this room.

This is the twentieth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Room Traps

Roll 1d8

1. Something involving pits and possibly spikes.
2. Something involving spring-loaded spears.
3. Something involving blowgun darts.
4. Something involving nets and carnivorous beasts.
5. Something involving gas.
6. Something involving an unexpected and awkward social gathering.
7. Something involving ennui.
8. Something involving a malaise that foreshadows something worse.

Table: Parlor Tricks (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

There's something tricky about this parlor...

This is the nineteenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Parlor Tricks

Roll 1d12

1. The ceiling slowly begins to lower until it meets the floor, then resets.
2. The floor slowly begins to rise until it meets the ceiling, then resets.
3. All doors automatically lock and the room slowly fills with water.
4. Gravity is reversed within this room. Those who enter without precautions fall to the ceiling.
5. The floor is powerfully magnetized. Any object containing iron, nickel, cobalt, or steel becomes immovably attached to the floor.
6. The room is completely filled with perfectly transparent gelatin.
7. The room is entirely coated with powdered sugar.
8. The room's floor responds to every instance of contact with a loud musical note.
9. When all doors are closed, they automatically lock and the room is filled with a gas.
10. A burst of light causes temporary blindness lasting 5d4 minutes.
11. Every surface in the room is frictionless.
12. Entry to the room causes one to be completely covered with lint.

Table: Treasure Found (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Is this the treasure you're looking for?

This is the eighteenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Treasure Found

Roll 1d12 or 1d24

The treasure consists of...

1. 9 platinum pieces per dungeon level.
2. 19 gold pieces per dungeon level.
3. 99 silver pieces per dungeon level.
4. 999 copper pieces per dungeon level.
5. Exactly 12,321 bronze pieces.
6. 5d12 gold pieces, 6d10 silver pieces, and 10d6 copper pieces.
7. 2d16 electrum pieces and 1d24 platinum pieces.
8. 19d4 gold pieces.
9. 3d3 bottles of rare wine.
10. 3d4 gems per dungeon level.
11. 1d8 pieces of jewelry per dungeon level.
12. 1d100 pieces of costume jewelry.
13. $1,000,000.00!
14. A fully stocked spice rack.
15. A magic hat.
16. A magic ring.
17. A magic rod.
18. A magic staff.
19. A magic wand.
20. 1d4 magic scrolls.
21. Arguably a truly unique treasure.
22. Something that will undoubtedly become a family heirloom.
23. A magic near-treasure.
24. Something cursed and roll again.

Table: Room Contents (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What have we here?

This is the seventeenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Room Contents

Roll 1d12

1. Empty.
2. Nothing of interest.
3. Nothing but the usual dungeon furnishings.
4. Typical bric-a-brac and perhaps a useful item or two.
5. A monster being monstrous, engaging in monsterlike activities.
6. A monster with treasure.
7. A wandering minstrel separated from companions.
8. Trapped and/or hidden treasure.
9. Treasure for the taking!
10. A tricky trick.
11. A trappy trap.
12. A secret door and roll again.

Table: Exits (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

How do you get out of this place?

This is the sixteenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Exits

Roll 1d20 on this table 1d4 times

1. Nil.
2. Nil.
3. Door on opposite wall.
4. Door on opposite wall.
5. Door on opposite wall.
6. Door on opposite wall.
7. Door on left wall.
8. Door on left wall.
9. Door on left wall.
10. Door on right wall.
11. Door on right wall.
12. Door on right wall.
13. Door on same wall if it bypasses previous room.
14. Nil.
15. Side passage on opposite wall.
16. Side passage on left wall.
17. Side passage on right wall.
18. Side passage on same wall if it bypasses previous room.
19. Nil.
20. Nil.

Table: Rooms (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Would you like a room?

This is the fifteenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Rooms

Roll 1d30

1. 10' x 10' square
2. 20' x 20' square
3. 30' x 30' square
4. 40' x 40' square
5. 50' x 50' square
6. 60' x 60' square
7. 20' x 30' rectangle
8. 20' x 40' rectangle
9. 20' x 50' rectangle
10. 20' x 60' rectangle
11. 30' x 40' rectangle
12. 30' x 50' rectangle
13. 30' x 60' rectangle
14. 40' x 50' rectangle
15. 40' x 60' rectangle
16. 40' x 70' rectangle
17. 40' x 80' rectangle
18. 50' x 60' rectangle
19. 50' x 70' rectangle
20. 50' x 80' rectangle
21. circle (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
22. oval (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
23. triangle (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
24. pentagon (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
25. hexagon (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
26. octagon (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
27. trapezoid (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
28. parallelogram (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
29. doughnut (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)
30. irregular cave (roll 1d3 to determine small, medium, or large)

N.B. Check exits and room contents.

Table: Phenomenal Effects (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Phantastical anomalies have phenomenal effects...

This is the fourteenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Phenomenal Effects

Roll 1d20

This phantastical anomaly...

1. Will give you an omen and answer one question with a question.
2. Will teleport you to any body of water.
3. Will transport you to the nearest spaceship, space station, or habitable planet.
4. Will disintegrate anything on contact.
5. Is edible, inexhaustible, and tastes like candy.
6. Will launch a psychic attack on you. If you survive, you gain a psychic ability.
7. Will play any song.
8. Will transport you to an alternate reality or plane of existence.
9. Emits bubbles when approached.
10. Will summon one vengeful invisible stalker per person it detects.
11. Will grant you the ability to survive in any environment for one year.
12. Will attack you with a simulacrum of your first pet.
13. Will translate any form of communication.
14. Will control the local weather in an odd way until and unless it is mastered.
15. Will grant you the ability to cast one random spell from this list three times.
16. Will grant you the ability to cast one random spell from this list three times.
17. Will grant you the ability to cast one random spell from this list three times.
18. Will grant you the ability to cast one random spell from this list three times.
19. Will grant you the ability to cast one random spell from this list three times.
20. Will grant you the ability to cast two random cantrips from this list two times each.

Table: Phantastical Anomalies (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What is this... this... this phantastical anomaly?

This is the thirteenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Phantastical Anomalies

Roll 1d30

Behold! You see...

1. A continually spinning gyroscope.
2. A cube of six different colors.
3. A doorway with no door.
4. A floating eye.
5. A free-standing archway with indecipherable inscriptions.
6. A glowing pyramid.
7. A gravity-defying disco ball.
8. A hologram of a chimera.
9. A humming sphere.
10. A kiosk.
11. A levitating demonic head.
12. A live fish in a tank of water.
13. A live genie head in a box.
14. A luminous circle.
15. A mist-filled alcove with alien skulls.
16. A model of a tower that emits strange lights and sounds.
17. A paving stone with footprints, handprints, and illegible writing.
18. A perpetually swinging pendulum.
19. A pillar of fog.
20. A pillar of light.
21. A pulsating dodecahedron.
22. A ring of fire.
23. A robot.
24. A sarcastic mirror.
25. A shapeshifting cloud of smoke.
26. A stone table with a grid of differently colored crystals.
27. A suggestion box.
28. A variably corporeal cat.
29. A vortex of stars.
30. A waterfall with neither beginning nor end.

N.B. Check for the anomaly's phenomenal effects.

Table: Closets (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What's in the closet?

This is the twelfth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Closets

Roll 1d12

The closet contains...

1. Junk.
2. Janitorial supplies.
3. Festive party supplies.
4. Craft supplies.
5. Kitchen/dining supplies.
6. Food.
7. Clothing.
8. Bedding.
9. Armor.
10. Weapons.
11. Trap maintenance equipment.
12. Skeletons (dead or undead).

Table: Secret Door Access (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Where does the secret door lead?

This is the eleventh table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Secret Door Access

Roll 1d12

The secret door leads to...

1. A ladder leading down one level.
2. A ladder leading up one level.
3. A spiral staircase leading down 1d3 levels.
4. A spiral staircase leading up 1d3 levels.
5. A room.
6. A chamber.
7. A narrow (2' wide) passage straight ahead. Roll 1d10 on this table after 10'. (1 in 1d6 chance of peepholes.)
8. A narrow (2' wide) passage to the left. Roll 1d10 on this table after 10'. (2 in 1d6 chance of peepholes.)
9. A narrow (2' wide) passage to the right. Roll 1d10 on this table after 10'. (2 in 1d6 chance of peepholes.)
10. A narrow (2' wide)passage to the left and the right. Roll 1d10 on this table after 10' either way. (3 in 1d6 chance of peepholes.)
11. A closet.
12. A privy.

N.B. Passages are simple wood or stone construction, and dark.

Measurement conversion: 10' (10 feet) = 3.048 m = 1 traditional map square = 2 battlemat squares (in one direction)

Table: Secret Doors (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Before a party can find a secret door (by whatever means the referee approves, whether it's by the (rule) book, descriptive searches, or coin toss, it's good for the referee to know if there is a secret door. (If such a door exists, there might be clues, and if you want inattentive parties to stumble upon it, you can also use the handy accidental discovery roll.)

This is the tenth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Secret Doors

Roll 1d20

You find...

1. A secret door that swings inward. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
2. No secret doors.
3. Negatory.
4. A secret door that swings outward. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
5. Nothing of interest.
6. Ixnay on the ecretsay oorsday.
7. A secret door that slides to the side. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
8. An absence of anything secret.
9. A secret door that slides upward. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
10. An abundance of not much.
11. A secret door that slides downward. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
12. Nothing answering the description of a secret door.
13. No secret doors here.
14. A detachable secret door. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
15. No secret doors at all.
16. Nothing remotely resembling a secret door.
17. A secret door that revolves. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)
18. No doors of a secret, concealed, or otherwise hidden nature.
19. A dreary lack of secret doors.
20. A secret door that tilts at the middle. (1 in 1d6 chance of boobytrap.)

N.B. Check secret door access to see what lies beyond it.

Table: Door Access (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Will you pass through the door?

This is the ninth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Door Access

Roll 1d12

The door leads to...

1. A room.
2. A chamber.
3. A passage straight ahead. Roll on Occasional Checks after 20'-80'.
4. A passage to the left. Roll on Occasional Checks after 20'-80'.
5. A passage to the right. Roll on Occasional Checks after 20'-80'.
6. A passage to the left and the right. Roll on Occasional Checks after 20'-80' either way.
7. A chamber.
8. A room.
9. A closet.
10. A pole leading down 1d3 levels.
11. A ventilation shaft leading to the surface.
12. Save game here.

N.B. Check passage width and/or passage description whenever a new passage is discovered or whenever the fancy strikes you.

Measurement conversion: 10' (10 feet) = 3.048 m = 1 traditional map square = 2 battlemat squares (in one direction)

Table: Boobytraps (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

It's a boobytrap!

This is the eighth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Boobytraps

Roll 1d10

1. Loud incidental music plays when door is opened.
2. Door springs forward, smashing anyone behind it against opposite wall.
3. Needle mechanism injects victim with a poison that causes instant festivity, which wears off after 3d4 hours of sleep.
4. Puff of dust causes violent sneezing fit that gradually tapers off after 1d4 hours.
5. The door begins to vibrate. Then the walls vibrate. Then the floor vibrates. Vibrations cease after party leaves area.
6. Electrical shock causes persistent static cling lasting 1d4 days.
7. Mechanism flings fragile capsule of concentrated skunk spray at victim.
8. Catch releases a shower of rotten eggs.
9. Trap door slide springs open below, depositing victim in a room with a wandering monster.
10. Device squirts gooey substance on victim, rendering fine manipulation and other acts of manual dexterity all but impossible until removed via spell or a time-consuming remedy.

Table: Door Status (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Can you open the door?

This is the seventh table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Door Status

Roll 1d12

1. Stuck.
2. Really stuck.
3. Really really stuck.
4. Locked.
5. Locked and stuck.
6. Double-locked.
7. Double-locked and stuck.
8. Unlocked.
9. Wide open.
10. Locked and boobytrapped.
11. Unlocked and boobytrapped.
12. Magically sealed.

Table: Doors (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Will you open the door?

This is the sixth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Doors

Roll 1d12

1. An ordinary wooden door. Check status.
2. An ordinary-ish wooden door. Check status.
3. An ordinary iron-banded wooden door. Check status.
4. An iron gate.
5. An iron portcullis.
6. A steel portal.
7. A sliding door. Check status.
8. A swinging door.
9. A revolving glass door.
10. A bead curtain.
11. A talking door. Check status.
12. A carnivorous door.

N.B. Check door access to discover what lies beyond it.

Table: Side Passages (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What's this? A side passage? Hm...

This is the fifth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Side Passages

Roll 1d30

1. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the left.
2. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the left.
3. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the left.
4. 90° to the left.
5. 90° to the left.
6. 90° to the left.
7. 90° to the left. Not this again.
8. 90° to the left.
9. 90° to the left.
10. 90° to the left.
11. 90° to the left.
12. 90° to the left.
13. Diagonally behind (135°) to the left.
14. Diagonally behind (135°) to the left.
15. Diagonally behind (135°) to the left.
16. Diagonally behind (135°) to the right.
17. Diagonally behind (135°) to the right.
18. Diagonally behind (135°) to the right.
19. 90° to the right.
20. 90° to the right.
21. 90° to the right.
22. 90° to the right. Oh, it's slightly different alright.
23. 90° to the right.
24. 90° to the right.
25. 90° to the right.
26. 90° to the right.
27. 90° to the right.
28. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the right.
29. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the right.
30. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the right.

N.B. Check passage width and/or passage description whenever a new passage is discovered or whenever the fancy strikes you.

Table: Passage Turns (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

What's that? A turn in the passage? I wonder where it leads...

This is the fourth table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Passage Turns

Roll 1d30

1. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the left.
2. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the left.
3. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the left.
4. 90° to the left.
5. 90° to the left.
6. 90° to the left.
7. 90° to the left. To the left. Left, right, left.
8. 90° to the left.
9. 90° to the left.
10. 90° to the left.
11. 90° to the left.
12. 90° to the left.
13. Diagonally behind (135°) to the left.
14. Diagonally behind (135°) to the left.
15. Back again (180°) to the left.
16. Back again (180°) to the right.
17. Diagonally behind (135°) to the right.
18. Diagonally behind (135°) to the right.
19. 90° to the right.
20. 90° to the right.
21. 90° to the right.
22. 90° to the right. Repetitive, isn't it?
23. 90° to the right.
24. 90° to the right.
25. 90° to the right.
26. 90° to the right.
27. 90° to the right.
28. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the right.
29. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the right.
30. Diagonally ahead (45°) to the right.

N.B. Check passage width and/or passage description whenever a new passage is discovered or whenever the fancy strikes you.

Table: Passage Description (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

"Are not all dungeon passages essentially the same?" asks a hypothetical twit. No. Roll a die and consult this, the third table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Passage Description

Roll 1d20

1. Stone floor, stone walls, no light source.
2. Cobblestone floor, wood-panelled walls, brass sconces.
3. Marble floor, mosaic walls, bronze floor candelbras.
4. Mosaic floor, marble walls, wall-mounted torches.
5. Basalt floor, basalt walls with bas-reliefs, bronze candleholders.
6. Tile floor, skull-embedded walls, candles melted on skulls.
7. Brick floor, brick walls, no light source.
8. Slick stone floor, mossy stone walls, dim phosphorescent glow.
9. Dirt floor, rough-hewn stone walls, lanterns.
10. Wooden floor, mirror walls, no light source.
11. Marble floor, mirror walls, chandeliers.
12. Stone floor, tapestries, iron floor candelabras.
13. Tile floor with weird pattern, stone walls with mysterious holes, incense.
14. Stone floor with human outlines, natural stone walls with handprints, strobe light.
15. Shag carpeted floor, tapestries, black light.
16. Slidewalk floor, hologram map of the cosmos, dim light with no detectable source.
17. Floor of lava, walls of igneous rock, narrow ledge.
18. Subterranean river, walls of sedimentary rock, glowing tendrils beneath the water's surface.
19. Concrete floor, concrete walls, fluorescent lighting.
20. Mosaic floor, plaster walls with murals, potted plants.

Table: Passage Width (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

How wide is this passage? Let's see...

This is the second table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Passage Width

Roll 1d20

1.   1' (wide enough for a leprechaun)
2.   2' (wide enough for one person)
3.   3' (wide enough for two persons standing sideways)
4.   4' (wide enough for two persons standing abreast)
5.   4' (still a bit narrow, though)
6.   5' (wide enough for two persons posing or one 28 mm miniature)
7.   5' (better throw in another one for the later edition crowd)
8.   6' (wide enough for three persons standing abreast)
9.   6' (roomy for two; tolerable for three)
10.   7' (wide enough for three persons dancing)
11.   8' (wide enough for four persons abreast, snapping their fingers as they patrol their turf)
12.   8' (wide enough for two berserk flesh golems)
13.   8' (wide enough for two horses)
14.   10' (wide enough for traditional graph paper cartography)
15.   10' (wide enough for five persons standing abreast)
16.   10' (wide enough for two 28 mm miniatures)
17.   10' (wide enough for something)
18.   12' (wide enough for an aristocrat + retinue to make an impressive entrance)
19.   15' (wide enough for three 28 mm miniatures)
20.   20' (Oh, come now.)

Table: Occasional Checks (Your Dungeon Tour Table)

Your dungeon tour begins in a subterranean passageway, which you proceed to explore without the hassle of maps or directions. You must make an Occasional Check...

This is the first table of Your Dungeon Tour Table.

Occasional Checks

Roll 1d20

1. The passage continues. Check again after 20'.
2. The passage continues. Check again after 40'.
3. The passage continues. Check again after 60'.
4. The passage turns. Check again after 10'-60'.
5. The passage turns. Check again after 10'-60'.
6. There is a side passage. Check again after 10'-60'.
7. There is a side passage. Check again after 10'-60'.
8. There is a three-way intersection. Check again after 10'-60' each way.
9. There is a four-way intersection. Check again after 10'-60' each way.
10. There is a dead end, but there might be a secret door.
11. There is a door to the left. Passage continues. Check again after 10'-60'.
12. There is a door to the right. Passage continues. Check again after 10'-60'.
13. Behold, a phantastical anomaly! Passage continues. Check again after 10'-80'.
14. There is a door ahead.
15. There is a room of some sort.
16. There is a chamber of some sort.
17. There is a means of ascent or descent.
18. 'Tis a trap!
19. Lo, a trick!
20. Hark, a wandering monster! (Check again to see what lies beyond.)

N.B. Check passage width and/or passage description whenever a new passage is discovered or whenever the fancy strikes you.

Measurement conversion: 10' (10 feet) = 3.048 m = 1 traditional map square = 2 battlemat squares (in one direction)

Your Dungeon Tour Table

We are on the cusp of Random Generator Month (also known as April) when little random generators come out to frolic. This year, the random generators will work together to bring you randomly generated dungeons in what I like to call Your Dungeon Tour. It may seem like a normal random dungeon generator, but it is my hope that it will confound you in new and interesting ways when it is complete. Use Your Dungeon Tour Table to torment your friends and yourself to-day!

For the complete experience, roll first on the Occasional Checks table and follow the tour from there.

Your Dungeon Tour Table

Roll 1d30

1. Roll on the Occasional Checks Table!
2. Roll on the Passage Width Table!
3. Roll on the Passage Description Table!
4. Roll on the Passage Turns Table!
5. Roll on the Side Passages Table!
6. Roll on the Doors Table!
7. Roll on the Door Status Table!
8. Roll on the Boobytraps Table!
9. Roll on the Door Access Table!
10. Roll on the Secret Doors Table!
11. Roll on the Secret Door Access Table!
12. Roll on the Closets Table!
13. Roll on the Phantastical Anomalies Table!
14. Roll on the Phenomenal Effects Table!
15. Roll on the Rooms Table!
16. Roll on the Exits Table!
17. Roll on the Room Contents Table!
18. Roll on the Treasure Found Table!
19. Roll on the Parlor Tricks Table!
20. Roll on the Room Traps Table!
21. Roll on the Treasure Traps Table!
22. Roll on the Treasure Hidden Table!
23. Roll on the Room Monsters Table!
24. Roll on the Wandering Monsters Table!
25. Roll on the Means of Ascent or Descent Table!
26. Roll on the Chambers Table!
27. Roll on the Passage Traps Table!
28. Roll on the Passage Tricks Table!
29. Roll on the Dungeon Ambience Table!
30. Roll on the Dungeon Rationale Table!