01 January 2019

Alignments: Hot New Take for a New Year

As part of a selfmade superstition rooted in an observation of an arbitrary holiday, I feel compelled to post an article to at least one of my blogs before the end of the first day of the New Year (2019), and to facilitate this imaginary obligation, I am writing it whilst somewhat inebriated. Without further ado, I bring you another irreverant scribbling on a subject I do not take seriously: alignments in role-playing games, or rather, alignments in Dungeons & Dragons and the few other role-playing games that bother with it.

In the future, I forsee only two alignments. (I have decided to approach this in the manner of a fortune teller, which is all the authority it deserves.) The two alignments are:

  • Team Player, and
  • Loner

Team Player: Those of this alignment are willing to work with others to varying degrees in order to achieve a goal. It matters not if those ends are for good or evil. What matters is that one is willing and able to be part of a group. One can certainly have idiosyncracies and eccentricities, but when push comes to shove, differences are put aside. Game on.

Loner: Those of this alignment are determined to work alone and pursue their own personal quests. Worse than dividing the party, they abandon the party, yet expect an inordinate amount of the DM's attention. They are interested only in themselves and contribute nothing to the group. Those of this alignment may leave. I suggest Fighting Fantasy, Choose Your Own Adventure, or Tunnels & Trolls solitaire adventures as logical alternatives.

N.B. These are obviously player alignments, which are the only alignments that truly matter at the gaming table.

Have a happy, healthy, prosperous New Year with far more gaming than the last.