Table of the Quasi-Answerable

As a bonus to Random Generator Month 2022, readers may notice I added a few random tables after the completion of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table, which are now part of the...

Table of the Quasi-Answerable

Roll 1d6 if you dare!

1. Roll on the Magic d20 or Oracular Icosahedron? Tables!
2. Roll on the Universal Resolution System Table!
3. Roll on the Variable Resolution System Table!
4. Roll on the Low Impact Reactions Table!
5. Roll on the High Impact Reactions Table!
6. Roll on the Player Character Reactions Table!

Table: Player Character Reactions

Why should monsters and non-player characters have all the fun with reaction tables? Why can't players make random decisions for their characters with their own reaction table? Now they can with the Player Character Reactions table! Let the dice decide!

Player Character Reactions

Roll 2d6

The player character responds by...

2	Fleeing (which is uncommonly wise).
3-5	Checking stuff (spells, weapons, equipment, did I mention spells?).
6-8	Fighting (as usual).
9-11	Sneaking (e.g. attempting to backstab in full view of everyone).
12	Parleying (or, to be more specific, lying).

[The above is a table of the Table of the Quasi-Answerable.]

Table: High Impact Reactions

Are you weary of the same old reaction table churning out the same old reactions regardless of extenuating circumstances? Would you like to break up the monotony of casual adventuring with a bit of bloodshed? Then perhaps you need High Impact Reactions. Whenever your adventurers encounter a monster or nonmonster with an inclination for violence, roll on the High Impact Reactions table for an action-packed role-playing experience. Enjoy!

High Impact Reactions

Roll 2d6

The being's reaction is...

2	Berserk. Attacks anything and everything.
3-5	Furious. Attacks with unbridled ferocity.
6-8	Ambivalent. Alternately attacks and apologizes.
9-11	Excited. Wants to go killing and/or carousing with you.
12	Bonded. Wants to make a blood oath alliance.

[The above is a table of the Table of the Quasi-Answerable.]

Table: Low Impact Reactions

Are you tired of the same old reaction table churning out the same old reactions regardless of extenuating circumstances? Would you like to break up the monotony of hack-and-slash adventuring with a bit of conviviality? Then perhaps you need Low Impact Reactions. Whenever your adventurers encounter a monster or nonmonster who might not fit the stereotypical profile, roll on the Low Impact Reactions table for a relaxing role-playing experience. Enjoy!

Low Impact Reactions

Roll 2d6

The being's reaction is...

2	Exasperated. Politely requests some time alone.
3-5	Dismayed. Asks to discuss it over tea.
6-8	Unsure. Asks to discuss it over coffee.
9-11	Interested. Asks to discuss it over alcohol.
12	Enthusiastic. Invites you to a party.

[The above is a table of the Table of the Quasi-Answerable.]

Table: Variable Resolution System

The premise: Each time a player character attempts an action with an uncertain outcome, roll on the table below to determine the method of resolution.

Variable Resolution System

Roll 1d12

1. Roll equal to or lower than stat.
2. Roll and add stat (or stat modifier) to beat difficulty.
3. Roll number of dice equal to stat to beat difficulty.
4. Roll and consult combat matrix.
5. Stat and difficulty are rated by die-step. Highest roll wins.
6. Stat and difficulty are rated via Fudge trait ladder. Resolve with 4dF.
7. Compare relevant stats and/or difficulty. Highest value prevails.
8. Flip a coin. Heads = success; tails = failure.
9. Throw darts. Player gets number of darts equal to stat; GM gets number of darts equal to difficulty. Highest score prevails.
10. Play Rock-Paper-Scissors. Player with advantage can call for best two out of three.
11. Play tiddlywinks. Victor prevails.
12. Break out the nerf guns.

[The above is a table of the Table of the Quasi-Answerable.]

Table: Universal Resolution System

Whatever the system, whatever the situation, you, too, can use the Universal Resolution System if you have an eight-sided die. Use it for combat. Use it for diplomacy. Use it for skills, stunts, feats, saving throws, or anything else that seems appropriate.

How Does it Work?

If you are at an advantage, roll two eight-sided dice and pick the highest result. If you are at a disadvantage, roll two eight-sided dice and pick the lowest result. If neither apply, just roll 1d8.

Go On...

Developed using the latest improv technology, the Universal Resolution System ensures that decisions are left to you... and chance... and really a combination of chance and your interpretation of the result... and what your GM allows... or what your players allow if you are the GM and you give them that leeway.

Try it!

Universal Resolution System

Roll 1d8

1. Critical: Extreme No
2. No And... No Way
3. Yes, But... Not Really*
4. Perhaps
5. Definite Maybe
6. No, But... Yeah, Sure**
7. Yes And... Yes Way
8. Critical: Extreme Yes

* Also known as "Yeah, No."
**Also known as "No, Well, O.K., Fine."

[The above is a table of the Table of the Quasi-Answerable.]

Magic d20 or Oracular Icosahedron?

Can I ____?

Sometimes a player asks, "Can I [blank]?" Maybe you know such a player. Maybe you have been that player. There are many ways to answer that question, some helpful, some not so helpful, but if ever you wish to allow the supernatural to offer a guiding hand, here are some tables with the answers you just can't be bothered to formulate.

One table is based directly on the Magic 8 Ball, but requires the use of a magic d20 instead (although a nonmagical d20 will suffice). The other table requires an oracular icosahedron (although, again, a nonmagical d20 is an acceptable substitute). Choose the table that best serves your needs, but if indecision strikes, you may always resort to a random method, e.g. roll any die — if the result is an even number, roll the magic d20; if the result is an odd number, roll the oracular icosahedron.

---

Magic d20

Roll 1d20

The answer to your yes-or-no question is...

1. My reply is no.
2. My sources say no.
3. Outlook not so good.
4. Very doubtful.
5. Don't count on it.
6. Better not tell you now.
7. Cannot predict now.
8. Ask again later.
9. Reply hazy, try again.
10. Concentrate and ask again.
11. Outlook good.
12. Most likely.
13. Signs point to yes.
14. As I see it, yes.
15. Yes.
16. Yes definitely.
17. Without a doubt.
18. It is certain.
19. It is decidedly so.
20. You may rely on it.

---

Oracular Icosahedron

Roll 1d20

The answer to your yea-or-nay inquiry is...

1. Fool! The answer is no, and all your ambitions are as dust!
2. Fool! The answer is yes, though you be ignorant of its implications!
3. No! And woe to you and your descendants!
4. Yes! And woe to you and the reputation of your ancestors!
5. No, for mortals such as you can never attain such lofty aspirations!
6. Yes, though you shall wish it otherwise!
7. No, if you don't mind offending Nature!
8. Yes, if you would offend the gods!
9. Not as mortals perceive it, no.
10. As mortals perceive it, yes.
11. The answer lies within you.
12. The answer is all around you.
13. Quest and you shall know.
14. Know and you shall perish.
15. It is known that there is no known answer.
16. Those who utter such a question draw the attention of alien gods or demons.
17. Not at this time.
18. Yes, but not for long.
19. Never.
20. Always.

[The above are tables of the Table of the Quasi-Answerable.]

Random Generator Month

April is Random Generator Month at Applied Phantasticality, and I have taken care to add that link/label to every April mega-table including the one I retroactively created for the first satirical tables I posted in 2013. Thus far, we have the Table of Tablecentric Tables of 2013, the Table of Many Tables (Contains Tables) of 2020, the Expanding Unknown Table of 2021, and the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table of 2022. [Add the Table of the Quasi-Answerable also of 2022.] [And Your Dungeon Tour Table of 2023.] Apparently, it's a self-imposed tradition now, so I thought it deserved a name. Happy Random Generator Month, readers!

Table: Royal Gifts for Loyal Subjects (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Those few adventurers who have been of particular service to their rulers may be surprised with rare and usual gifts that befit the gratitude and, shall we say, eccentricity of their royal personages. This is the twentieth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Royal Gifts for Loyal Subjects

Roll 1d8

1. An adamantite paperweight engraved with the recipent's name.
2. A "chair that rocketh" fashioned from mammoth tusks.
3. A lifesize origami paper golem folded in the likeness of the recipient.
4. A magnificent stuffed horse on wheels.
5. A painting entitled Still Life with Turnip and Severed Head.
6. A pair of Slippers of Heavenly Comfort (nonmagical, but convince your feet of that).
7. A pet miniature purple worm, which, if not kept in its terrarium will soon become considerably larger.
8. A rare homing pigeon capable of breaking the sound barrier.

Table: Misspells 4 (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

There seems to be no limit to the ways in which Mis-Spells can manifest thanks to spells misheard, mispoken, mistranslated, or even misspelled. This is the nineteenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Misspells 4

Roll 1d30

1. Bemuse Nurse
2. Bump
3. Carnation
4. Comprehend Luggage
5. Delayed Bliss Glitter Globe
6. Drawmij's Instant Cinnamon
7. Eerie Waiter
8. Firebowels
9. Fire Traipse
10. Gas
11. Hold Hamster
12. Hold Turtle
13. Legend Bore
14. Leomund's Tarp
15. Liar Shield
16. Lungs
17. Mirror Damage
18. Mordenkainen's Fainting Hound
19. Otiluke's Frozen Pear
20. Passwaffle
21. Power Word: Grill
22. Power Word: Shun
23. Score
24. Snow
25. Spittlerack
26. Time Stamp
27. Wader Bleating
28. Waste
29. Webbed
30. Wreath Magic

Table: Birth Status (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

The professional adventurer may prefer to wear a cloak of mystery, but even the mysterious stranger came from somewhere. This is the eighteenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Birth Status

Roll 1d20 or 1d30

1. 1st child
2. 2nd child
3. 3rd child
4. 4th child
5. 5th child
6. 6th child
7. 7th child
8. 8th child
9. 9th child
10. 10th child
11. 11th child
12. 12th child
13. only child
14. adopted child
15. foundling
16. changeling (alleged)
17. twin (roll 1d12 to determine order for both)
18. triplet (roll 1d12 to determine order for all three)
19. quadruplet (roll 1d12 to determine order for all four)
20. quintuplet (roll 1d12 to determine order for all five)
21. raised by 1) wolves, 2) werewolves, 3) wolfweres, or 4) dogs (roll 1d4)
22. raised by 1) apes, 2) monkeys, or 3) proto-simians (roll 1d3)
23. raised by 1) squirrels, 2) raccoons, 3) opossums, 4) rabbits, 5) hedgehogs, or 6) capybaras (roll 1d6)
24. raised by chickens (or the poultry of your choice)
25. raised by 1) dolphins, 2) whales, 3) squid, 4) carp, 5) merpeople, or 6) plankton (roll 1d6)
26. changeling (for sure)
27. born of the union of divine and mortal flesh (i.e. a demigod)
28. created by act of spontaneous generation
29. reanimated from the tissue of a variety of corpses
30. began as a puppet carved from wood

Table: Misspells 3 (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Is there no end to the number of Mis-Spells that arise due to instances of caster error, syntax error, or other phenomena? This is the seventeenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Misspells 3

Roll 1d30

1. Affect Normal Accent
2. Audible Glazer
3. Burning Hams
4. Cacaodemon
5. Clairannoyance
6. Clairavoidance
7. Console Elemental
8. Control Feather
9. Daze Floor
10. Delayed Blast Folderol
11. Detect Upheaval
12. Ice Stork
13. Incense Dairy Cloud
14. Infeasibility
15. Levitaste
16. Limited Fish
17. Magic Gar
18. Mass Infeasibility
19. Nystul's Magic Error
20. Protection from Upheaval
21. Reed Magic
22. Rolypolyform Other
23. Rolypolyform Self
24. Schlep
25. Shop Change
26. Serten's Spumoni
27. Teleknees
28. Trap the Vole
29. Water Bothering
30. Wizard Rye

Table: Magical Hats (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Those who are fashion forward about their headgear will not hesitate to place these hats upon their pates. This is the sixteenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Magical Hats

Roll 1d6

1. Beret of Insouciance: Renders the wearer invulnerable to stress and mental or emotional attacks.
2. Bicorne of War and Peace: Turned one way, the wearer causes any interaction to escalate to immediate violence or threats thereof; turned the other way, the wearer causes any interaction to de-escalate to light conversation or sing-a-longs.
3. Fez of Residency: Will, when tossed and the command is uttered, expand into a fully furnished luxury domicile.
4. Mortarboard of Might: Will hold any amount of weight stacked or placed upon it with no harm to the wearer, who may stand, sit, or walk without fear of losing balance whilst so burdened.
5. Skull Cap of Thinking: Enables the wearer to ponder completely free of distractions; produces a lit candle hovering above the wearer's head when an idea is conceived. (Candle may be used normally.)
6. Wimpled Hennin of Electrical Spectacle: Enables the wearer to redirect electrical energy without sustaining injury, but at increased risk of static cling.

Table: Misspells for Illusionists (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Mis-Spells (like these and these) happen to illusionists, too, and here is the table to prove it. This is the fifteenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Misspells for Illusionists

Roll 1d20

1. Blandness
2. Blurt
3. Ciaos
4. Continual Delight
5. Dankness
6. Detect Quizability
7. Distil Exhaustion
8. Duffness
9. Frog Cloud
10. Gazelle Deflection
11. Mist Direction
12. Moss Suggestion
13. Naan Detection
14. Paralegalization
15. Phantasmal Thriller
16. Prismatic Mall
17. Quizability
18. Shadow Puppets
19. True Sigh
20. Veal

Table: Misspells 2 (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Our thaumaturgical troubleshooters work round the clock every day to uncover more Mis-Spells like those compiled here from the Table of Many Tables. This is the fourteenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Misspells 2

Roll 1d30

1. Airy Wafer
2. Animate Bread
3. Blizzard Bye
4. Crowdkill
5. Conjure Sentimental
6. Detect Bevel
7. Dimension Boor
8. Doo-Wop Dimension
9. Explosive Runs
10. File Charm
11. Fire Crap
12. Flame Marrow
13. Flu
14. Hallucinatory Terrarium
15. Infantvision
16. Leomund's Secret Vest
17. Leomund's Tiny Hat
18. Massage
19. Meteor Shawarma
20. Mime Stop
21. Minor Glob of Vulgarity
22. Paste
23. Power Word, Fun
24. Prismatic Spore
25. Protection from Normal Missives
26. Rary's Pneumatic Depantser
27. Slop
28. Telepork
29. Wall of Irony
30. Wall of Rice

Table: Wandering Monsters 2 (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Once upon a time there was a Wandering Monsters table that dwelled in the Table of Many Tables. It was lonely, however, so it was introduced to a new friend: Wandering Monsters 2. This is the thirteenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Wandering Monsters 2

Roll 1d20

1. Aerial Shirker. Frequency: More common than you would think
2. Ankleg. Number Appearing: 2
3. Beeholder. Armor Class: 10 [9]
4. Bissellisk. Move: Almost average
5. Carnivorous Silverfish. Hit Dice: 1 (subject), 10 (aristocrat)
6. Cloud Gerbil. Treasure Type: Nil
7. Dire Aphid. % in Lair: 0%
8. Eye Float. No. of Attacks: 1
9. Grape Ooze. Damage/Attack: 2-16
10. Grin Slime. Special Attacks: Uncontrollable smiling
11. Lungfish, Wild. Special Defenses: Disarming personality
12. Mint Flayer. Magic Resistance: 34%
13. Phase Earwig. Intelligence: Non- (as far as anyone knows...)
14. Rambling Mound. Alignment: Chaotic neutral
15. Rumorhazit. Size: L (quite L)
16. Slumber Hulk. Psionic Ability: Considerable
17. Tapioca Pudding. Psionic Attack Mode: Nil
18. Thought Snacker. Psionic Defense Mode: A variety
19. Wazzit. Note: Often employed as a familiar by absent-minded wizards
20. Wereweevil. Description: Resembles an ordinary weevil except for its palpable aura of malice.

Table: Pointless Cantrips (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Why do a simple thing easily when you can marshal the tempestuous forces of magic to yield the same results by vastly more complicated means? Cantrips are the answer! Avail yourself of these fine feats of subwizardry to accomplish what nearly everyone can do with less effort. This is the twelfth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Pointless Cantrips

Roll 1d12

1. Blow on Some Soup
2. Darn a Sock
3. Empty a Chamber Pot
4. Light a Candle
5. Pour Some Water
6. Sharpen Some Cutlery
7. Shine Some Boots
8. Stir a Pot
9. Sweep a Floor
10. Tap Someone on the Shoulder
11. Wash a Garment
12. Whisper to Someone Nearby

Table: Interesting Aromas (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Those who are truly appreciative of appendices are aware of a little table called Odors on page 217 of the ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (1st edition) Dungeon Masters Guide, but as any good DUNGEON DRESSING aficionado knows, it lacks several examples of olfactory stimulation. To these discerning delvers I offer this unofficial table. This is the eleventh table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Interesting Aromas

Roll 1d20

It smells like...

1. Blood.
2. A carrion crawler buffet.
3. Chlorine.
4. Death.
5. Despair.
6. Frankincense.
7. Glazed doughnuts.
8. A harpy spa.
9. A hill giant's undergarments.
10. A kobold lavatory.
11. Lemon zest.
12. A little too much perfume.
13. An odor out of space.
14. Patchouli.
15. Pumpkin spice.
16. Regret.
17. Sunbathing troglodytes.
18. A veritable musk factory exploded.
19. Victory.
20. Wet bugbears.

Table: Unusual Sounds and Ominous Noises (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Here at last is the long-awaited yet unrequested (and completely unofficial) sequel to the Unexplained Sounds and Weird Noises table found in the hallowed pages (p. 217) of the Dungeon Masters Guide of ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (1st edition). Enjoy all new sounds and noises presented in glorious Unpredict-O-Bubblevision using state-of-the-art d30 technology! This is the tenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Unusual Sounds and Ominous Noises

Roll 1d30

1. beeping
2. belching
3. boinging
4. bonking
5. bubbling
6. burbling
7. flapping
8. flopping
9. flumphing
10. flushing
11. guffaw(ing)
12. gurgling
13. hacking
14. hiccupping
15. honking
16. jangling
17. pitter-pattering
18. sizzling
19. skittering
20. snicker(ing)
21. snogging
22. snort(ing)
23. soliloquizing
24. squeeing
25. squelching
26. squirting
27. stage-whispering
28. wheezing
29. yodelling
30. zapping

Table: Foreign Attitudes (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

If you happen to find yourself in an unfamiliar land, try to learn as much as you can about local customs and attitudes before introducing yourself. This is the ninth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Foreign Attitudes

Roll 1d12

In this land, strangers are...

1. Acknowledged by extending one arm, palm outward, and looking away.
2. Acknowledged with a condescending breaking of wind.
3. Acknowledged with a limerick of dubious appropriateness.
4. Acknowledged with a spit take.
5. Attacked instantly with whatever is at hand.
6. Ceremoniously distracted and unceremoniously robbed.
7. Greeted with a bow followed by a headbutt to the abdomen.
8. Greeted with an elaborate salute that requires practice to master.
9. Greeted with spontaneous song and dance.
10. Greeted with uproarious laughter.
11. Offered a ride on one's back to the nearest drinking establishment.
12. Offered as sacrifice to the local dragon, pit beast, cult leader, or godling.

Table: Rumors at the Tavern (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

The rumors are true! Or false! Only the GM knows for sure... This is the eighth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Rumors

Roll 1d12

1. "That wench there fancies you."
2. "The moths here scream with human voices when they die, so light no fires at night."
3. "The ghost of the tavernkeeper's wife haunts the cellar."
4. "The monkfish is delicious, but the bishopfish is divine."
5. "It's supposed to rain frogs tomorrow. Again."
6. "They say the old crone who lives in the hut at the edge of the village is not a witch."
7. "The king and his jester sometimes switch places."
8. "Invisible dragons migrate there for the mating season."
9. "Something about a hoard of treasure guarded by a monster."
10. "Pudding is prohibited in this land."
11. "Pudding is mandatory in this land."
12. "There are no laws or customs pertaining to pudding in this land."

Table: Garden of Earthly Frights (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Every wizard's garden is known for its rare and unusual specimens. Roll as necessary on the table below to determine the prized plants of a particular practitioner of the magical arts. This is the seventh table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Garden of Earthly Frights

Roll 1d12

In this wizard's garden, one may find...

1. blizzard peas
2. blood leeks
3. brain cabbage
4. catapultatoes
5. fell beets
6. garrotte carrots
7. hell melons
8. motile hogweed
9. murder thistle
10. parsely*
11. quivering lentils
12. razor lettuce

* The "p" is silent.

Table: Exotic Pole Arms (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

No fantasy milieu is complete without an exhaustive list of medieval and renaissance pole arms... Try these! This is the sixth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Exotic Pole Arms

Roll 1d20

1. beck peck
2. fauxrichard
3. filk
4. geezerama
5. glaize
6. halibutt
7. lopper axe
8. lucy hammer
9. ow pike
10. partipan
11. radiche
12. ransewer
13. sputem
14. vogue
15. willy hook
16. fauxrichard-filk
17. fauxrichard-geezerama
18. geezerama-vogue
19. glaize-geezerama
20. willy-geezerama

Table: Demihuman Variants (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Insofar as there can never be enough playable demihuman options to satisfy players, here are a few more! This is the fifth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Demihuman Variants

Roll 1d14

1. Achromatic Dwarves
2. Mound Dwarves
3. Achromatic Elves
4. Coniferous Elves
5. Deciduous Elves
6. Dim Elves
7. Isthmus Elves
8. Neurotic Elves
9. Sober Elves
10. Garden Gnomes
11. Hothouse Gnomes
12. Philosophical Gnomes
13. Brandy Halflings
14. Lager Halflings

N.B. If a d14 is not available, use a d20 instead and reroll any result above 14.

Table: Demon Nobles (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

A table of random archdevils must, of course, be followed (if not preceded) by a table of random demon nobles for the same obvious reasons, which we need not delve into at this juncture. This is the fourth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Demon Nobles

Roll 1d4 for MM or 1d10 for MM-MM!!

1. Demogorgonzola
2. Jelloplex
3. Orcustard
4. Yeahnohoo
5. Atcosttchotchke
6. Barphonit
7. Frat-Herb Lou
8. Grr'ziti
9. Pazoomazoomazoomzoomzoom
10. Roflolth

Table: Archdevils (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

There are so many uses for a table of random archdevils that they need not be enumerated here. This is the third table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Archdevils

Roll 1d4 for MM or 1d12 for MM-MM!!

1. Cosmodeus
2. Dis Tater
3. Garyindiana-on
4. Wazzupbub
5. Ainton
6. Bae Elle
7. Belly Al
8. Gin Hut
9. Mammajammon
10. Missystoppuhleeze
11. Plexiglasya
12. Schmoloch

Table: Wandering Cosmic Entities (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Here is a table of wandering Outer Gods, Elder Gods, Great Old Ones, and other Beings of Sanity-Shattering Significance for your average random encounter needs. This is the second table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Wandering Cosmic Entities

Roll 1d8

1. Cthaooga
2. Gnarlihotep
3. Schlub Blubberwrath
4. Shystur the Unlitigable
5. Spitooloo
6. Tsafrogyaknow
7. Yo Gurtsothoth
8. Zappathoth

Table: Peculiar Marriage Rituals (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Roll on this table once or twice to generate unusual customs of a matrinmonial nature in phantastic lands. This is the first table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

[This is an altered and expanded version of the table previously posted here. Since it's my wedding anniversary, I thought it might be appropriate.]

Peculiar Marriage Rituals

Roll 1d20

In this land, weddings are...

1. Conducted at ley line intersections.
2. Conducted in astral form.
3. Conducted in darkness.
4. Conducted whilst standing on one foot.
5. Conducted with no participant closer than 4 cubits* to any other.
6. Followed by a moment of flatulence.
7. Followed by mob foot-balle.
8. Followed by potion-imbibing.
9. Followed by swimming.
10. Followed by tug-of-war.
11. Officiated by a beekeeper.
12. Officiated by a jester.
13. Officiated by a magician.
14. Officiated by a shouter.
15. Officiated by a spirit.
16. Preceded by a donnybrook.
17. Preceded by a hunt.
18. Preceded by a moment of choral humming.
19. Preceded by a moment of primal screaming.
20. Preceded by planting a tree.

* 2 m or 6 feet.