Table: What Are They Discussing? 2

Will the adventurers casually eavesdrop or will they join the conversation? This is the sixth table of the What Is This Table? Table.

What Are They Discussing? 2

Roll 1d12

1. The campaign against literacy launched by some out-of-town barbarians.
2. The convenience of staying at a caravansary vs. the cost.
3. Cures for insomnia.
4. The deadly combination scavenger hunt/sacrificial rite orchestrated by the despotrix.
5. The disappearance of a certain noble's puppy in the vicinity of some ruins.
6. The lycanthropy outbreak in Werewolvington.
7. That ludicrous display at yesterday's mob football match.
8. The merits of rotating crops.
9. A protest organized by the local death cult.
10. The village with the best idiot.
11. The weather.
12. Who would win in a fight between a vampire and a ghoul.

(See also the Build Your Own Space Opera Table for twice the Random Generator Month fun.)

Table: What Are They Discussing?

One cannot always help overhearing the conversations of non-player characters in their natural habitat, whether it's guards at their post, clergy behind the altar, servants at the well, or just about anyone at the tavern. Naturally, one wants to know, "What are they discussing?" This is the fifth table of the What Is This Table? Table.

What Are They Discussing?

Roll 1d12

1. The archery contest incident involving the intrusion of crossbow hooligans.
2. The latest fad of sewing pockets into clothing.
3. The local death cult's lute-burning spree.
4. The mermaid sighted at Rover's Cove whilst catching the largest cod ever seen.
5. The new tax on ostentatious codpieces.
6. The price of ambergris in Portport.
7. The scandalous new hats being worn in Highplace.
8. The sighting of a ghost at the abandoned electrum mine.
9. The slobold uprising in Slothgate.
10. The stirrings of revolution in Oppressia.
11. The weather.
12. Whether one would rather be the sole mortal in a town populated only by demons or the lone demon against a team of saints in a mob football match.

(See also the Build Your Own Space Opera Table for twice the Random Generator Month fun.)

Table: What Does This Barrel Contain?

Sometimes adventurers cannot leave well enough alone and insist on dawdling in the name of "a thorough search," leaving no stone unturned and no barrel or cask unopened. If they refuse to accept your helpful hints, roll to see what they find. This is the fourth table of the What Is This Table? Table.

What Does This Barrel Contain?

Roll 1d30

1. ale
2. beer
3. cider
4. caltrops
5. a corpse
6. fireworks
7. flour
8. fruit punch
9. hard cider
10. lamp oil
11. lentils
12. luxury rat hotel
13. mead
14. monkeys
15. nails
16. nuts
17. oats
18. paint
19. parsely
20. pepper
21. pickles
22. salt
23. salted beef
24. salted fish
25. salted pork
26. syrup
27. vinegar
28. water
29. wine
30. a zombie

(See also the Build Your Own Space Opera Table for twice the Random Generator Month fun.)

Table: What Is This Plane of Existence?

"What is this plane of existence?" is a question that adventurers might ask as they ponder the nature of reality and their place in it, but it could equally be a legitimate inquiry if they plunge—for whatever reason—through an interdimensional rift. The table below might provide an answer. This is the third table of the What Is This Table? Table.

What Is This Plane of Existence?

Roll 1d12

1. The Pastoral Plane
2. The Ephemeral Plane
3. The Prime Real Estate Plane
4. The Parallel Parking Plane
5. The Positive Feedback Plane
6. The Negative Feedback Plane
7. The Good Place
8. The Bad Place
9. The Plane of Mutual Disagreement
10. The Cornfield
11. The Periodic Plane of Elements
12. The Plane of Missing Socks

(See also the Build Your Own Space Opera Table for twice the Random Generator Month fun.)

Table: What Is This Market Stall Selling?

The adventurers are browsing in the market and they want to know, "What is this stall selling?" Roll to find out! This is the second table of the What Is This Table? Table.

What Is This Market Stall Selling?

Roll 1d30

1. apples, peaches, and pears
2. amulets and talismans
3. belts, garters, and scabbards
4. cabbages
5. candles and lamp oil
6. citrus fruits
7. fabric
8. fancy codpieces
9. flagons and tankards
10. flowers
11. friendship bracelets
12. greens
13. hats, non-hats, helmets, and wizard hats
14. herbs
15. costume jewelry
16. knives and knife-sharpening
17. magical trinkets and other discount magic
18. "medicines"
19. perfumes
20. pies and bread
21. pottery
22. practical jokes and harmless gags
23. robes
24. sandals and slippers
25. soaps
26. soups
27. souvenirs
28. sweets
29. turnips
30. woodcarvings

(See also the Build Your Own Space Opera Table for twice the Random Generator Month fun.)

Table: What Is This Business?

"So, what is this business?" the adventurers ask as they wander through the city/town/village/hamlet. Roll and find out! This is the first table of the What Is This Table? Table.

What Is This Business?

Roll 1d12

1. Armand Armour's Half-Priced Armory ("Pre-Owned Arms & Armor")
2. The Bucket & Duck Tavern (a.k.a. The Decoy Lodge)
3. Drury's Brewery ("The Opposite of Dreary")
4. The Fell Inn ("Bottomless Hospitality")
5. Flesch's Butcher Shop ("Free Offal with Purchase")
6. Ten Rolling Pins Bakery (a.k.a. The Crossed Rolling Pins)
7. Polly the Apothecary ("Free Advice with Cracker")
8. Smithers' Smithy and Stable ("Horses Shoed. Flies Shooed.")
9. The Whale & Sail Alehouse (a.k.a. The Not-So-Drydock)
10. The Whistle & Lyre Tavern ("Mandatory Musical Accompaniment")
11. Willa Taylor, Tailor (secretly a.k.a. William Tale, Spy.)
12. Witt & Burley's Millery ("We Grind Our Competitors to Powder!")

(See also the Build Your Own Space Opera Table for twice the Random Generator Month fun.)

What Is This Table? Table

Once again, it is April Fool's Eve, and this time the foolishness will be doubled! Here, in Applied Phantasticality, you are invited to the madness of the What Is This Table? Table. (You'll see...) There, in Savage Arts & Sciences, you may enroll in the Build Your Own Space Opera Table (inspired by the likes of Flash Gordon). Two mega-tables for the price of one! Which will win? Read them both to find out...

What Is This Table? Table

Roll 1d12

1. Roll on the What Is This Business? Table!
2. Roll on the What Is This Market Stall Selling? Table!
3. Roll on the What Is This Plane of Existence? Table!
4. Roll on the What Does This Barrel Contain? Table!
5. Roll on the What Are They Discussing? Table!
6. Roll on the What Are They Discussing? 2 Table!
7. Roll on the What Is This Game of Chance? Table!
8. Roll on the What Does the Eclipse Portend? Table!
9. Roll on the Why Is the Room Spinning? Table!
10. Roll on the What Did the Mad Mage Create This Time? Table!
11. Roll on the What Did the Mad Mage Summon This Time? Table!
12. Roll on the Who Does the Mad Mage Think He Is This Time? Table!

N.B. Results of the What Is This Table? Table are being added [almost] daily (starting on the 1st of April). [And it stands at 12 entries.]

Reconsidering the Anniversary Festivities

As I mentioned in "Phantastical Dodecahedral Anniversary", this year (and this month, in fact) marks the twelfth anniversary of Applied Phantasticality. I mentioned possibly dedicating this year's Random Generator Month (a.k.a. April) to the splendid d12, and I dashed out about twenty d12 tables to this end, but alas they all insisted on being part of something called the Build Your Own Space Opera Table (COMING SOON!) in one of my other blogs, Savage Arts & Sciences. Instead of cross-posting them to both blogs, I think I'll leave the d12 tables to Savage Arts & Sciences and post more recklessly to Applied Phantasticality. I might not even use a theme. That's how wild and crazy I am. (Let's hope I post something, though.)

Carry on.

Phantastical Dodecahedral Anniversary

This year marks the 12th anniversary of my oldest extant blog, Applied Phantasticality (and my 25th anniversary of blogging in any capacity, as shocking as that is to me). In honor of this event, I think I might dedicate this year's Random Generator Month (a.k.a. April) exclusively to the noblest of platonic solids, the dodecahedron, or, as it is known amongst gamers, the d12. I am undecided about the theme of this year's Random Generator Month, but all of the tables will require the service of your loyal twelve-sided dice.

Huzzah!

Ides of March

The controversies surrounding Hasbro/Wizards of the Coast and its dominion over recent, current, and imminent versions of Dungeons & Dragons leave little room for optimism for those of us who like earlier editions, later variants, and different role-playing games altogether, but I can't say it's surprising. I haven't trusted TSR since it published Zebulon's Guide to Frontier Space for Star Frontiers (and I ought to have distrusted them starting with the bifurcation of D&D and AD&D), but I've never trusted Wizards of the Coast with or without Hasbro's overlordship. As media personalities jump ship from D&D and launch their own vessels of variable seaworthiness, I think it's worth looking at the craft of great designers, young and old, who have been perfecting role-playing games without regard to, or interest in, Hasbro/WOTC's self-defeating nonsense. There are so many satisfying alternatives from the very beginning of the hobby to the present, and more are being created right now by actual independent game designers who actually play the games. The best part of role-playing is that it's a hobby. The best publishers of role-playing games are hobbyists themselves. The corporations don't care about hobbyists. In turn, we owe them nothing. We can do it ourselves.