Sumerian Astrology and the Zodiac Birth Augur

Who needs another zodiac-based Birth Augur and Lucky Roll table for Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG? You, waving at me from the top of that ziggurat! I knew someone would have a use for it. (A previous article contains the mysteries of the Zodiac Birth Augur of the Western and Chinese traditions.)

Zodiac Sign and Lucky Roll (Sumerian Astrology)

Roll 1d12

1. Luhunga, "The Farmer" (Speed (each +1/−1 = +5'/−5' speed))
2. Gu Anna, "The Bull of Heaven" (Fortitude saving throws)
3. Mastabba Bagal, "The Great Twins" (Detection checks)
4. Al-Lul, "The Crayfish" (Armor Class)
5. Urgula, "The Lion" (Melee attack rolls)
6. Ab Sin, "The Virgin Land" (Will saving throws)
7. Zib Baana, "The Scales" (Reflex saving throws)
8. Girtab, "The Scorpion" (Initiative)
9. Pabilsag, "The Soldier" (Missile attack rolls)
10. Suhurmas, "The Goat-Fish" (Damage rolls)
11. Gu La, "The Great One" (Skill checks)
12. Dununu, "The Fishes" (Spell checks)

Just to read the Sumerian names is to stand in witness of an impressive piece of 5,000-year-old living continuity: Luhunga (farmer) is Aries; Gu Anna (bull of heaven) is Taurus; Mastabba Bagal (great twins) is Gemini; Al-Lul (crayfish) is Cancer; Urgula (lion) is Leo; Ab Sin (virgin land) is Virgo; Zib Baanna (scales) is Libra; Girtab (scorpion) is Scorpio; Pabilsag (soldier) is Sagittarius; Suhurmas (goat-fish) is Capricorn; Gu La ('great one') is Aquarius, the water bearer during the winter rains; and Dununu (fish cord) is Pisces.

Accordingly, the lucky rolls match those I have assigned to the Western Astrology Birth Signs (q.v.).

N.B. I meant to post this shortly after the first "Zodiac Birth Augur" article, but the pandemic happened and it languished in my "Articles in Progress" file. I really need to check it more frequently.

The Seeming Meaninglessness of Blogging Analytics

I know this is a shot in the dark, but do any of my readers know how to determine a) how many visitors to a blog are actual human readers and not bots, b) whether the locations of those visitors are genuine or faked by VPN (or some other means), and c) what actual search terms were used (when, in the case of this blog, there were allegedly 7065 pageviews in the last seven days, but Blogger simply lists the search terms used as "Other")?

Also, does anyone have any theories as to why the top referrer to Applied Phantasticality this week is allegedly the official site of the American Osteopathic College of Radiology? I find it rather hard to believe. Maybe I'm wrong to doubt it, but I doubt it.

Fudging Non-Fudge Attributes

Once again, Fudge proves its Superb versatility not only in its own right, but as a wellspring of useful rules options for other games. Read "Fed up with '3d6 down the line?' Just FUDGE it!" in the blog "It's okay; Gary sent us." I enjoy the wide variety of options that exist for generating D&D characteristics, and this looks very promising. One change I might make if I were to use this would be to change the roll for Good to (13-15): 12 + 1d3, and maybe let players pick two Good attributes instead of two Fair attributes.

[This article is cross-posted here in Creative Reckoning.]

Hirelings You Say?

Abruptly, I am directing you to the article "Hirelings and You" in Among Cats and Books because I agree with it, I want to share the wisdom therein, and I want to remind myself to read it again later.

Give hirelings a chance.

Hello-ween, Goodbye Blogging Challenge

I am disappointed but unsurprised that I have received no suggestions in answer to my request for October blogging challenges. Once again, my aspirations to engage in Halloween-themed blogging exercises before the onset of Christmastime overwork are nothing more than ashes. I have searched in vain, but the age of great search engines is likely condemned to the past. I need an outside impetus to aid me in my end-of-the-year blogging, but I have neither prompts nor encouragement. Unless I have a sudden inspiration in the next few days, October will continue to be just another month.

To my actual living readers: Hello! Thank you for reading. Sorry about the preceding paragraph. I am fighting a headache and various feelings of existential dread. How are you?

Peace.

October Blogging Challenge Search

Do any of my readers participate in or know of any October blogging challenges that are Halloween or horror-themed and relevant to role-playing? If so, please leave a comment. I need good seasonal prompts. No a.i., please.

Table: ill-conceived reasons to adventure

Another stray table! This is the tenth table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

ILL-CONCEIVED REASONS TO ADVENTURE

Roll 1d20

1. An amateur botanist and professional florist, you are interested in specimens native to great dark swamps such as the Great Dark Swamp (from Whence None Return).
2. An amateur entomologist and collector of insects, you have heard that there are several unclassified species of beetles reportedly found in catacombs and tombs.
3. A composer of songs, you seek inspiration for your next ballad in the ruins of Castle Doom or any equally forboding fortress that might be haunted.
4. A "people person," you are eager to meet as many people as you can no matter how isolated or xenophobic they may be.
5. An entrepreneur, you know there are lucrative opportunities awaiting you on the fringes of civilization and/or sanity.
6. A pioneer, you have trails to blaze through the most benighted, hellish, fiend-infested wilderness to get to that perfect plot of arable land you know awaits you on the other side.
7. An animal-lover, you are convinced that there are beasties craving affection and tender loving care even in the vilest recesses of the subterranean ecosystem.
8. You prefer to picnic in uncrowded locales faraway from the intrusiveness of towns and roads — faraway, in fact, from any sign of civilization or security whatsoever.
9. An au pair by profession, you are scouting out sites for potential field trips. Spelunking is educational!
10. A student, you were instructed to continue your research "in the field," which may or may not mean desolate, barrow-covered heaths.
11. Noticing a string leading into a dark labyrinth, you thought you would follow it and see where it takes you, winding it onto a spool as you go...
12. You are nostalgic for the golden age of a dead civilization and seek to bask in its genius by picking through the bones and rubble of its long deserted ruins.
13. According to your horoscope, you will meet a stranger who will make a proposal. This is a time of great change in your life. Do not be afraid to try new things. Embrace the surprises that Life gives you!
14. You have heard that subterranean environments are great for those who suffer from allergies. You have many allergies.
15. A chef who takes freshness of ingredients seriously, you have heard that a certain rare and exquisite mushroom you seek can be found in certain caves...
16. A promising student-doctor, you need cadavers with which to cram for your tests, but cadavers are expensive and difficult to obtain in towns where a high percentage of the population is superstitious and mob-inclined. Catacombs, however, are safe from prying eyes and the cadavers there are free for the taking!
17. The fortune-teller sees a hazy image. For two silver pieces it becomes clearer. Ah, yes! It is... a man. Or perhaps... a woman. In... a tavern. The person is holding... a map! A very old map. Another image... becoming clearer... hills of gold and precious jewels! (This fortune is provided for entertainment purposes only.)
18. Your chums have dared you to spend at least one night in the old abandoned cavern/dungeon/manor house/mine shaft (pick one).
19. A stage magician, you are convinced that you can perform the greatest illusion ever seen if you can find the perfect location. Someplace authentically spooky would do nicely.
20. Although Chaotic humanoids and their philosophy leave you nonplussed, you are willing to visit their homes and listen to their side of the argument.

[This table originally appeared here as a humorous version of this table.]

Table: Unexpected Visitor

Table time! This is the ninth table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Unexpected Visitor

Roll 1d20

There's somebody at the door...

1. An assassin.
2. A baby (and rightful heir to the throne) left on the doorstep.
3. A baby (demon) left on the doorstep.
4. A door-to-door tinker.
5. The Grim Reaper.
6. An imp.
7. An inebriated fop.
8. An itinerant cleric.
9. A missionary.
10. A pilgrim.
11. A robber.
12. A royal messenger.
13. A squirrel requesting a nut.
14. The taxman.
15. A troubador.
16. A weak and weary wandering knight.
17. A wizard.
18. Your arch-enemy.
19. Your evil (good?) twin.
20. Your mother.

[This table originally appeared in "RPGaDay 2025: Day 21" ("Unexpected").]

Table: How to Enter an Alternate/Parallel/Pocket Universe/Plane

Time for a table! This is the eighth table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

How to Enter an Alternate/Parallel/Pocket Universe/Plane

Roll 1d20

Via...

1. An alien artifact.
2. An altered state.
3. An archway engraved with mysterious symbols.
4. Astral projection.
5. Conveyance by an unnatural beast.
6. An earthquake.
7. A fissure.
8. A floating portal.
9. A free-standing door.
10. A funhouse ride/rollercoaster.
11. A giant hat.
12. A hole.
13. An ingenious contraption.
14. A magic pool.
15. A mirror.
16. A painting.
17. A potion.
18. A tornado/cyclone.
19. A vortex.
20. A wardrobe.

[This table originally appeared in "RPGaDay 2025: Day 20" ("Enter").]

Table: Most Memorable Encounter

The most memorable encounter is sure to be found in the most memorable encounter table. This is the seventh table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Most Memorable Encounter

Roll 1d6

1. A fully clothed centaur (with briefcase).
2. An enigmatic macroplanarian.
3. A Floating Head of Lettuce (of Doom).
4. A gourdian angel (primarily protects gourds).
5. An octopus piloting a mecha.
6. The Aquabats!

[This table originally appeared in "RPGaDay 2023: Day 29" ("Most memorable ENCOUNTER").]

Table: Alternative Wizardly Abodes

Not every wizard resides in a tower. This is the sixth table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Alternative Wizardly Abodes

Roll 1d8

1. mountain cave
2. stilt hut
3. geodesic dome
4. ziggurat
5. cottage
6. bungalow
7. A-frame
8. penthouse

[This table originally appeared here (#RPGaDay2020 19. "Tower").]

Table: Forest Encounter

What or whom will you encounter in the forest? This is the fifth table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Forest Encounter

Roll 1d6

1. You encounter a wolfwere dressed like a typical grandmother. It has the power to transform into Graham Chapman.

2. You happen upon a ring of toadstools. Don't dance around it or you'll turn into a toadstool yourself. If you eat one, well, that's another random table.

3. You chance upon a house constructed entirely of candy and baked goods. If you're short enough, the resident will try to eat you when she catches you gnawing on her domicile. If you're taller, she forces you to renovate her home for 1d6 months.

4. You trip over, and enrage, a lion, which happens to have a thorn in its paw.

5. You step on a venomous snake. If you apologize quickly enough, you will be spared its scathing sarcasm and biting insults. In the best of circumstances, it's quite the amiable conversationalist.

6. You meet a werebear in mid-transformation. It's preoccupied with preventing fires.

[This table originally appeared here (#RPGaDay2020 6. "Forest").]

Table: Connection

How are the player characters connected? This is the fourth table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Connection

Roll 1d8

1. mutual friend
2. mutual enemy
3. are all kin
4. are all colleagues
5. are all former (or current) classmates
6. are all fugitives
7. are all survivors
8. met at a party/festival/gathering

[This table originally appeared here (#RPGaDay2019 30. "Connection").]

Table: Idea

Here's an idea... In your next RPG adventure/module/scenario, every player character must be played as if the player were a certain well known comedian. So, for example, your Ulric Hellbringer is now "Ulric Hellbringer (as played by Jerry Stiller)." This is the third table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Idea

Roll 1d6

1. The GM assigns each player a comedian.
2. Each player chooses a comedian.
3. Each player chooses a comedian for the player to their left.
4. Each player chooses a comedian for the player to their right.
5. Each player's comedian is determined randomly.
6. Choose one or roll again.

I never said it was a GOOD idea.

[This table originally appeared here (#RPGaDay2019 26. "Idea").]

Table: Surprise

When you regain consciousness, you find yourself on a beach. Your only possession is...

(This is the second table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.)

Surprise

Roll 1d6

1. a knife
2. a stainless steel windproof lighter
3. a 30' rope
4. a Sherman tank
5. a UFO
6. a birthday cake

[This table originally appeared here (#RPGaDay2019 23. "Surprise").]

Table: Found Familiar

If you Find a Familiar, let it know there's a magic-user looking for it. Otherwise, said magic-user has a 25% chance of screwing up the spell and won't be able to cast it again for another year. This is the first table of the Table of Misplaced Tables.

Found Familiar

Roll 1d10

1. Ilemauzar
2. Pyewackett
3. Pecke in the Crowne
4. Griezzell Greedigutt
5. Vinegar tom [sic]
6. Holt
7. Jarmara
8. Sacke & Sugar
9. Newes
10. None. You have a famulus instead.

#ADnD #1stLevelSpells #FindFamiliar #1stEditionProblems

[This table originally appeared here (#RPGaDay2019 7. "Familiar").]

Table of Misplaced Tables

April is Random Generator Month, but this is September, which is an honorary random generator month when it suits us, and this time we are collecting the random tables scattered throughout the #RPGaDay articles of Applied Phantasticality and reproducing them in their own Random Generator Month master table for everyone's convenience. Enjoy the early autumn nonsense!

Table of Misplaced Tables

Roll 1d10

1. Roll on the Found Familiar Table!
2. Roll on the Surprise Table!
3. Roll on the Idea Table!
4. Roll on the Connection Table!
5. Roll on the Forest Encounter Table!
6. Roll on the Alternative Wizardly Abodes Table!
7. Roll on the Most Memorable Encounter Table!
8. Roll on the How to Enter an Alternate/Parallel/Pocket Universe/Plane Table!
9. Roll on the Unexpected Visitor Table!
10. Roll on the ill-conceived reasons to adventure Table!

N.B. Results of the Table of Misplaced Tables will be added daily (or sporadically) throughout the month. [Edit: Ten tables found!]

Blogger Blahs

Has anyone else noticed that the Blog List gadgets on Blogger are only sporadically displaying up-to-date posts? It has been getting worse. I don't know whether this is only affecting my blogs or it's a system-wide issue, but it certainly doesn't help the cause (namely, in this case, the support of the hobby and our fellow bloggers). Blogging is already an uphill battle. We should at least be able to depend on the basic functionality of the blog itself to act as a blog. This is disheartening.

Hit or Miss: Missed

In case you haven't seen my latest notes in "Hit or Miss" or "Hit or Miss in Detail," I decided not to continue my thoughts on the topic because Greg Stolze already discussed the topic in forum.rpgnet.com in February 2010. Of course, the existence of this article disproves my decision, but here we are. It was either this or I not spend the next few minutes writing this and posting it to my unread blog. And then where would we be?

So, I guess I'll just summarize some of what I intended to write because, for all I know, Greg Stolze and others on that forum may have already stated everything worth stating on the topic, and I would rather be blown out of existence by a sphere of annihilation than unintentionally reiterate something on the Internet.

To summarize, for whatever edition of Dungeons & Dragons or its simulacra or retro-clones you are playing, characters have hit points equal to their Constitution (or Stamina, etc.) and a random number of miss points for each level (equivalent to the hit points they would have gained for each level). Various editions use different dice for different classes. Heed them or houserule them as thou wilt.

I think I would simplify my earlier thoughts on significant wounds thusly: Once hit points are lost, the victim's attack rolls, initiative rolls, and saving throws (or attribute checks) are penalized at −1; once hit points are reduced to 50% or less, they are penalized at −2. Penalties disappear as hit points are healed (−2 when hit points rise above 50%; −1 when all hit points are healed). Critical hits remain unchanged for whichever version of the rules are being used. Actual hits, which reduce hit points, are therefore consequential, but remain uncomplicated.

And that's (probably) all I'll say about this topic.

(Drat. That's far more than I intended to say.)

RPGaDay2026 Is Nigh (Over There)

RPGaDay2026 is nigh, and this year I shall be observing it exclusively (probably) through Decidedly Six-Sided by interpreting each daily prompt as part of the description of a character (player or non-player as the reader chooses) for Ghostbusters: A Frightfully Cheerful Roleplaying Game.