Magic Item: Wand of Annoyance

Some wands with random effects are more reliable than others. The wand of annoyance may not possess the most impressive offensive powers, but one can be reasonably sure it will inconvenience an enemy.

Targets may save vs. wand (or your edition's prevailing category) to avoid effects completely.




Wand of Annoyance

The wand of annoyance ensures that you will be the life of the party and the bane of any enemy party on and off the battlefield. Just follow the proper wand-wielding procedures, and let the shenanigans begin!

Remember, all wands have a limited number of charges, and each use of a wand drains one or more charges. Each use of a wand of annoyance, for instance, drains a single charge regardless of the magical effect. It is sometimes possible, however, to cause the wand to generate a specific effect that the user has witnessed before, but the charge expenditure is much greater, and, typically, random. Each such use depletes a wand of surprise of a variable amount of charges as follows:

Roll 1d4

1. One charge.
2. A quarter of all remaining charges.
3. Half of all remaining charges.
4. All remaining charges.

When a wand has been depleted of charges, it becomes inert. Some wands are rechargeable, whilst others are forever drained of their capacity for magic. Recharging a wand may be as simple as taking it to your local wizards' guild or it may require something on the order of immersing it in the waters of the River Styx. Whether your wand can be recharged or not, use it with whatever discretion you can muster.

Also, it's probably best not to break it.

Wand-Using Procedures
or
WUP

Wave the wand whilst
Uttering the magic words of activation (if any) and
Point it.

Wand Effects

Roll 1d8

1. The target is blinded by a flash of light. The blindness lasts 1d8 rounds, but the afterimage penalizes mêlée attack rolls by -1 and missile attack rolls by -4 for 1d8 days. Can be removed by cure blindness or heal.
   
2. The target is compelled to sneeze violently. This will disrupt whatever activity the target is presently engaged in, e.g. casting a spell, enchanting an item, using stealth, attacking, etc. Effective for one round.
   
3. The target is encased in a cocoon. It requires 1d8 rounds to cut oneself free from it.
   
4. The target is engulfed in a cloud of putrid fumes that cling to it, making it unavoidably noticeable to anything with a sense of smell in a 20 cubit radius. Can only be removed by remove curse or by bathing once a day for 1d8 days.
   
5. The target is enveloped in a powdery, silvery substance that makes contact with anything slippery. The victim must make a saving throw every round that an object is in contact or the object will be dropped or knocked over. The target can stand, but any attempt to walk, run, crawl, hop, or jump requires a saving throw to avoid falling. Can only be removed by remove curse or by submersion in a sticky substance (such as syrup) for 1d8 hours.
   
6. The target is enwrapped in a gooey, sticky (and, incidentally, delicious) substance to which anything adheres. Can only be removed by remove curse or submersion in an acidic solution for 1d8 hours.
   
7. The target is inflicted with hiccups for 1d8 rounds. This renders spellcasting or stealth impossible and penalizes attack rolls by -2.
   
8. The target is struck by a glob of tar-like matter that reduces movement rate by half and penalizes attack rolls by -2 until removed. Can only be removed by remove curse or by spending 1d8 hours scraping.