Table: Interesting Aromas (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Those who are truly appreciative of appendices are aware of a little table called Odors on page 217 of the ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (1st edition) Dungeon Masters Guide, but as any good DUNGEON DRESSING aficionado knows, it lacks several examples of olfactory stimulation. To these discerning delvers I offer this unofficial table. This is the eleventh table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Interesting Aromas

Roll 1d20

It smells like...

1. Blood.
2. A carrion crawler buffet.
3. Chlorine.
4. Death.
5. Despair.
6. Frankincense.
7. Glazed doughnuts.
8. A harpy spa.
9. A hill giant's undergarments.
10. A kobold lavatory.
11. Lemon zest.
12. A little too much perfume.
13. An odor out of space.
14. Patchouli.
15. Pumpkin spice.
16. Regret.
17. Sunbathing troglodytes.
18. A veritable musk factory exploded.
19. Victory.
20. Wet bugbears.

Table: Unusual Sounds and Ominous Noises (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Here at last is the long-awaited yet unrequested (and completely unofficial) sequel to the Unexplained Sounds and Weird Noises table found in the hallowed pages (p. 217) of the Dungeon Masters Guide of ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (1st edition). Enjoy all new sounds and noises presented in glorious Unpredict-O-Bubblevision using state-of-the-art d30 technology! This is the tenth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Unusual Sounds and Ominous Noises

Roll 1d30

1. beeping
2. belching
3. boinging
4. bonking
5. bubbling
6. burbling
7. flapping
8. flopping
9. flumphing
10. flushing
11. guffaw(ing)
12. gurgling
13. hacking
14. hiccupping
15. honking
16. jangling
17. pitter-pattering
18. sizzling
19. skittering
20. snicker(ing)
21. snogging
22. snort(ing)
23. soliloquizing
24. squeeing
25. squelching
26. squirting
27. stage-whispering
28. wheezing
29. yodelling
30. zapping

Table: Foreign Attitudes (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

If you happen to find yourself in an unfamiliar land, try to learn as much as you can about local customs and attitudes before introducing yourself. This is the ninth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Foreign Attitudes

Roll 1d12

In this land, strangers are...

1. Acknowledged by extending one arm, palm outward, and looking away.
2. Acknowledged with a condescending breaking of wind.
3. Acknowledged with a limerick of dubious appropriateness.
4. Acknowledged with a spit take.
5. Attacked instantly with whatever is at hand.
6. Ceremoniously distracted and unceremoniously robbed.
7. Greeted with a bow followed by a headbutt to the abdomen.
8. Greeted with an elaborate salute that requires practice to master.
9. Greeted with spontaneous song and dance.
10. Greeted with uproarious laughter.
11. Offered a ride on one's back to the nearest drinking establishment.
12. Offered as sacrifice to the local dragon, pit beast, cult leader, or godling.

Table: Rumors at the Tavern (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

The rumors are true! Or false! Only the GM knows for sure... This is the eighth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Rumors

Roll 1d12

1. "That wench there fancies you."
2. "The moths here scream with human voices when they die, so light no fires at night."
3. "The ghost of the tavernkeeper's wife haunts the cellar."
4. "The monkfish is delicious, but the bishopfish is divine."
5. "It's supposed to rain frogs tomorrow. Again."
6. "They say the old crone who lives in the hut at the edge of the village is not a witch."
7. "The king and his jester sometimes switch places."
8. "Invisible dragons migrate there for the mating season."
9. "Something about a hoard of treasure guarded by a monster."
10. "Pudding is prohibited in this land."
11. "Pudding is mandatory in this land."
12. "There are no laws or customs pertaining to pudding in this land."

Table: Garden of Earthly Frights (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Every wizard's garden is known for its rare and unusual specimens. Roll as necessary on the table below to determine the prized plants of a particular practitioner of the magical arts. This is the seventh table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Garden of Earthly Frights

Roll 1d12

In this wizard's garden, one may find...

1. blizzard peas
2. blood leeks
3. brain cabbage
4. catapultatoes
5. fell beets
6. garrotte carrots
7. hell melons
8. motile hogweed
9. murder thistle
10. parsely*
11. quivering lentils
12. razor lettuce

* The "p" is silent.

Table: Exotic Pole Arms (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

No fantasy milieu is complete without an exhaustive list of medieval and renaissance pole arms... Try these! This is the sixth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Exotic Pole Arms

Roll 1d20

1. beck peck
2. fauxrichard
3. filk
4. geezerama
5. glaize
6. halibutt
7. lopper axe
8. lucy hammer
9. ow pike
10. partipan
11. radiche
12. ransewer
13. sputem
14. vogue
15. willy hook
16. fauxrichard-filk
17. fauxrichard-geezerama
18. geezerama-vogue
19. glaize-geezerama
20. willy-geezerama

Table: Demihuman Variants (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Insofar as there can never be enough playable demihuman options to satisfy players, here are a few more! This is the fifth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Demihuman Variants

Roll 1d14

1. Achromatic Dwarves
2. Mound Dwarves
3. Achromatic Elves
4. Coniferous Elves
5. Deciduous Elves
6. Dim Elves
7. Isthmus Elves
8. Neurotic Elves
9. Sober Elves
10. Garden Gnomes
11. Hothouse Gnomes
12. Philosophical Gnomes
13. Brandy Halflings
14. Lager Halflings

N.B. If a d14 is not available, use a d20 instead and reroll any result above 14.

Table: Demon Nobles (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

A table of random archdevils must, of course, be followed (if not preceded) by a table of random demon nobles for the same obvious reasons, which we need not delve into at this juncture. This is the fourth table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Demon Nobles

Roll 1d4 for MM or 1d10 for MM-MM!!

1. Demogorgonzola
2. Jelloplex
3. Orcustard
4. Yeahnohoo
5. Atcosttchotchke
6. Barphonit
7. Frat-Herb Lou
8. Grr'ziti
9. Pazoomazoomazoomzoomzoom
10. Roflolth

Table: Archdevils (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

There are so many uses for a table of random archdevils that they need not be enumerated here. This is the third table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Archdevils

Roll 1d4 for MM or 1d12 for MM-MM!!

1. Cosmodeus
2. Dis Tater
3. Garyindiana-on
4. Wazzupbub
5. Ainton
6. Bae Elle
7. Belly Al
8. Gin Hut
9. Mammajammon
10. Missystoppuhleeze
11. Plexiglasya
12. Schmoloch

Table: Wandering Cosmic Entities (Unpredict-O-Bubble Table)

Here is a table of wandering Outer Gods, Elder Gods, Great Old Ones, and other Beings of Sanity-Shattering Significance for your average random encounter needs. This is the second table of the Unpredict-O-Bubble Table.

Wandering Cosmic Entities

Roll 1d8

1. Cthaooga
2. Gnarlihotep
3. Schlub Blubberwrath
4. Shystur the Unlitigable
5. Spitooloo
6. Tsafrogyaknow
7. Yo Gurtsothoth
8. Zappathoth