Complimentary Critical Hit Table

Far too much of my game collection has been hidden in boxes for far too long. Yesterday, I finally bought a large baker's rack (now a gamer's rack) to hold most of my games, and as I was unpacking I came upon this artifact from my early gaming history...

It's a complimentary critical hit table from Diamond Dice Inc. included with an order. I must have acquired it in the 1980s because I distinctly recall using this table when I ran AD&D in high school. I allowed my players to vote on whether the table should be used in our game and they voted unanimously in favor (knowing full well that it had an even chance of being used against them). The author is anonymous, but if he or she is reading this, I would like to say thanks for providing many entertaining consequences for my players' actions.

Here is the text of the table from Diamond Dice Inc.:

30 Sided Die         Stock # 98B

HIT RESULT TABLE

Most fantasy role-playing systems utilize a combat result which takes the form of "x" amount of damage points per blow. This table should be used after you have determined a critical hit has been scored. I would suggest that the table be consulted on a roll of "20", all other hits would be treated normally. The table will personalize the damage done and produce some interesting character deficiencies.

30 Instant death, skull has been crushed
29 Spinal cord severed, crippled for life
28 Leg severed, game master will determine which one
27 Arm severed, game master will determine which
26 Eye penetrated, game master will determine which eye has lost sight
25 Hand severed, game master will determine which one
24 Groin damage, no longer capable of sexual activity
23 Throat damaged, loss of speaking ability
22 Lung punctured, loss of constitution determined by game master
21 Shoulder bone crushed, loss of strength determined by game master
20
19
18
17
16 Result is as normal, critical hit avoided by character
15
14
13
12
11
10 Fingers chopped off, loss of dexterity determined by game master
  9 Ear lopped off, loss of hearing in that ear due to scarring
  8 Glancing blow on scalp, most of hair gone, loss of charisma
  7 Brain damage, loss of memory
  6 Arm damaged, may not use for randomized period of time
  5 Leg damaged, walk with a limp
  4 Crushing blow to mouth, teeth knocked out, loss of charisma
  3 Nose crushed, lose sense of smell, loss of charisma
  2 Facial wounds, scars on face reduce charisma
  1 Buttocks slashed, you can't sit down for a week